


He Got "Lost" in the Zoo

by pirerrot



Series: Scheduled Visits and Volunteer Shifts. [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anxiety Attacks, Explicit Language, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Homophobic Language, M/M, Mild Language, Underage Drinking, Underage Sex, Zoo, Zoo Keeper AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-19
Updated: 2014-11-09
Packaged: 2018-02-09 12:05:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 26,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1982340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pirerrot/pseuds/pirerrot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the story of how I met a dork who doesn't like animals at the zoo and this is also the story of how I, a volunteer at said zoo, fell for that dork.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Red Beanies in the Heat?

**Author's Note:**

> This is based off my personal experience with volunteering at zoos for the past three years.  
> This is also a two POV story with Jean and Marco's.  
> The other part of Scheduled Visits and Volunteer Shifts is Jean's

Beeping.  
Loud, infuriating buzzing.  
Where was that god forsaken noise coming from and why was it ringing in my room?  
Work.  
I have work today, right..  
Hissing with displeasure, I reached my heavily freckled arm out of my blanket cocoon and slammed my palm down on the horrible device that was my alarm click, silencing its screams and throwing my bedroom into an eerie calm. I groaned and turned on my side, curling into myself and murmuring ridiculous curse words to show my great, great hatred of mornings.

Hi,  
I'm Marco Bodt,  
And I hate the freaking morning.

I sigh and sprawl myself out on my bed with all limbs out like a starfish, testing my patience with the new position before I yanked myself up to sit and swing my legs over the edge. I stand, trying out my sore muscles with tentative steps towards my dresser, which had my uniform neatly ironed, laying atop. I grabbed the red polo shirt and the khaki shorts, laying them over my arm whilst I used my free arm to grab a black pair of boxers out my underwear drawer and a pair of socks.

I lazily step out my warm bedroom and into the chill of the hallway, making my way to my bathroom with silent steps as I tried to avoid waking the herd at 4 AM in the morning. I brush my teeth, shower, and dress myself in the pressed attire, looking at my reflection.

Did I mention the freckles yet?

They're everywhere, really, all across my face and my broad body, dotting my pale flesh with their dark color. There's even a distinctive line of four going across my nose; someone should play connect the dots with me. I have light brown eyes that were also somehow speckled with dark spots, mixing the colors and making them look, well, weird, and on my cranium I have onyx hued locks that come down to my forehead on the sides like someone chopped off the middle section of my straight bangs. My shoulders are wide and my muscles are defined, which comes from my constant activity outside.

I sigh and step out the bathroom, flicking off the light with my right hand before I tip-toed through the halls again and made my way to the kitchen for some cereal.  
Yeah,  
My diet is pizza and cereal,  
So what?  
I sat down on the counter and dunked my chilled spoon into the lovely concoction that is soupy cereal, eagerly taking in gulps of the mix and chewing at the light crunchiness of Honey Bunches of Oats. I glanced at the clock set on the oven and internally groaned at the time, 5:35 AM, and finished the my breakfast. I tossed the empty bowl into the metal sink and shoved my phone into my back pocket so I wouldn't forget it and grabbed my lunch pail off the granite kitchen counter.

  
I hurried over to the door and grabbed my converse, stepping into them and slamming my feet onto the ground to get them onto my heels. I grabbed my keys and ran out the door, going over to my old white truck and climbing into the driver's seat. It was my dad's truck before, but he's since replaced it and he gave it to me as a birthday gift. I smiled at the memory and put the keys into the ignition, sparking life into the aged engine whilst I leaned over to the passenger's seat glove department to grab MCR's best album ever, "The Black Parade", to put into the DVD player. I turned up the volume to a reasonable level and leaned back into the driver's seat, buckling myself in.

My phone screeched to get my attention right when I was grabbing the stirring wheel, causing for my brow to cock in surprise.  
"Who.."  
I murmured to myself whilst I wiggled and struggled to get my phone from my back pocket, sliding it into my palm when I got it. I stared at the screen, seeing that I have a text from "Eren Jaeger", and remembered that I was working with him today.

**From: Eren**

wrkn w/ u today!! u up?

**To Eren:**

I am! I'm actually on my way right now. Are you there yet? :)

**From Eren:**

here w/ armin  
waitin 4 u

**To Eren:**

Alright! Tell Armin I said hi!  
Be there soon.~

The stream of messages ended there and I furrowed my brows, wondering why Eren's adopted sister wasn't joining us today. I didn't know Armin was gonna be there but, honestly, I was thankful. Even though Eren is extremely passionate about what he does, more so than anyone else I know, he's not exactly..good at it.  
Don't tell him I said that, please!

I drove the way to work with a smile on my face, excited to see the animals and the guests like I was everyday. I parked in front of the Columbus Monkey exhibit, watching the family of three in their usual morning excitement for a few moments. The son hit the dad in the back of the head to get his attention, wanting to play, and the dad quickly jumped away to the mom to avoid the bundle of annoying energy. I chuckled, finding their morning behavior adorable before I stepped out the car and locked it.

  
Carrying my lunch pail and tapping my free thumb against my phone's screen to tell Eren and Armin I was here, I walked up to the volunteer entrance and entered.  
The squeals and screams of children filled my head and I was suddenly very, very grateful I wasn't working with the toddlers so early in the morning.  
Don't get me wrong, I love kids!  
I have three siblings, after all, but _these_ kids..  
Well, they're a bunch.  
I hurried down the halls to the break/sign in room and leaned over to the touch screen to tap in half my cell phone number, which was my password, to sign in. I skimmed through all the various positions they had available to do today and found mine, "Exercise Education Animals  & Animal Roaming", and clicked on it with my index finger.

 _'You're signed in, Marco Bodt!_ ' read the screen, and I grinned before I set my lunch in the mini fridge by the computer and grabbed my name tag from the files on the other side. I clipped it on on the left side of collar and adjusted my red polo shirt, making sure I didn't look like I rushed to get dressed this morning, and walked out the sign in room.

 

"Marco!"  
I turned to see two familiar beings and grinned with delight, hurrying over to greet the blond and the brunette beside him.

"Hey, Armin, Eren."  
I chimed whilst my free hand rubbed the back of my neck.

"Let's get to work before Hanji finds us just standing around."  
I said, earning nods and a droning "oh god, like last time" from Eren.

I led the pair down the hall to the education animal room, opening the door with the pair of keys I took from the sign in room, and held it open for the two. They stepped into a foot bath that was placed against the wall, cleansing the bottoms of their shoes to make sure not to bring anything unwanted into the area with the animals, and I followed their lead. I then shut the door and stretched my arms up to the ceiling, prepping myself for what was to come before I grinned widely at the two. Armin chuckled lightly at my demeanor, knowing how much I loved doing this shift, and Eren just kinda smirked with that determined look in his eye. I could hear his thoughts, I mean, I bet he was thinking: _"Maybe the tortoises won't piss on me today!" or "The rabbit won't scratch me up this time!" or "the opossums won't bite me!"._  
I felt bad for him, really..

"Alright. Eren and I can start in the reptile room and you can start in the mammal, Marco."  
Armin instructed with that cool look in his stunningly bright blue eyes, and I couldn't help but nod and smile at his decision.

 _'Yeah, keep Eren away from the ones with sharp teeth, Armin, but don't let him play with the snakes'_ I thought. We parted our ways and I stepped into the chilly mammal room, humming cheerfully as I heard the animals inside squirming and waiting to play-- I mean, exercise.

I chuckled and moved over to the quietly quacking duck, sitting on my knees in front of his large cage with a huge smile on my face.

"Good morning, Patrick!" The duck quacked in response, I think.

I stood up and grabbed the kiddie pool from the corner and placed it in the center of the room, away from the Chinchilla cage (they can't get wet, ya'know? Their fur is so thick that mold can grow in it! Cute little mold balls..), and began to fill it up with warm water. The duck's quacks grew louder and happier, knowing fully well that the pool was for him, and I decided to let him out early.

I opened his cage door and stepped aside, letting him quickly waddle out and flop into the pool. He splashed around and dunked his head under the water, enjoying himself, and I let him play until he waddled out and back into the cage on his own.  
I dumped the pool's water into the drain that was in the center of the room and placed the empty kiddie pool back against the wall, sighing with slight exhaustion.  
That kiddie pool weighed a lot, man.

I turned my attention to the opossums, which were just a couple weeks old, and decided on Cookies instead of Creme. I grabbed a small towel from the pile on the shelf against the wall and opened the top cage that held the little bundle of joy and sharp teeth that was Cookies, the darker coated one of the two, and reached in to gently wrap my fingers around her squirming form. I paced her in the small towel and wrapped it around her, allowing for her to rest in my large hands, and smiled down at her.  
Gosh, they're always so cute.  
I held her close against my chest and walked over to the door, using my free hand to open it, and slid out.

"Armin, Eren, I'm taking Cookies out into the zoo!"  
I called out, earning a yell of "Okay!" from the two, and I could only hope that Eren wasn't holding another boa.. That one time wasn't exactly a fun time.

I shivered at the memory and left the education animal room, sauntering down the main hall whilst my gaze stayed focused on the baby opossum that was in my hands, making sure she was safe. That's when I felt their body hit mine and I squeaked, jumping back and holding the animal closer against me. My face burned with embarrassment and my eyes went wide, scared I might've hurt the person, before I saw that it was Reiner Braun.

"R-Reiner! I'm sorry!"  
I squeaked and the large blond turned around to look at me and I felt my heart stop in my chest for a few moments.

"Huh? Oh, Marco. Don't worry, i'm fine."  
It took a few moments, but I calmed down and stared at him, noticing the absence on a particularly sweaty person and a quiet, scary one.

"'Bert and Annie are outside, if that's what you're wondering.."  
Reiner stated and I noticed my own staring and my slightly agape mouth, quickly closing it with a snap.

"Sorry again!"  
I mumbled and quickly sped by, leaving him to just wave at me.

I didn't know Reiner all that much, but he didn't seem like a bad guy. I haven't worked with him yet, mainly because he's always with the other two. I hurried through the open room that held all the toddler classrooms and the office and exited through the main doors to the zoo, feeling the heat pound against my freckled skin and groaned, knowing today will be painful. I turned to see a crowd of guests forming to enter and grinned widely, replacing my irritated mood from the heat with glee at the sight of visitors.

  
Amongst the crowd I had seen a guy with an undercut and a red beanie on, but at the time I didn't think anything other than, _'isn't it too warm for that kinda thing?'_  
I shook my head and hurried down the steps, adjusting Cookies in my hands as I did so, and made my way to into the main zoo. I saw Hanji coming by on a golf vehicle and waved them down. They stopped and smirked widely at me and patted the empty seat beside them, which I greedily took. There was no way I was going to walk in this heat that far with this little girl in my arms.

"Where ya going?"  
Hanji asked, leaning over to pet Cookie's back with a strangely delicate touch from them, and I smiled.

"The playground area." I answered.

"Got it!"  
Hanji replied, sitting up straight and pressing their foot against the pedal to speed us down into the North America section of the zoo, which held the large playground that was soon to be filled with children. I could already hear the guests flooding in. I hopped off Hanji's vehicle and waved them off with a grateful grin before I turned and sat on a bench, playing with Cookies as she wiggled and adjusted on my lap. Did I mention Hanji was gender non-binary? They're really cool, albeit slightly off-putting with their obsession with the folklore creature the Titan..  
Just never ask them about that,  
Ever.

  
I looked up to hear guests coming over and I stood, holding Cookies out with this sense of pride like, 'come over here and love this little dork', and I saw that flash of red atop that two-tone undercut again. He was walking to me at a fast pace, almost faster than all the families that saw that I had an animal, and came to stand in front of me. Kids were touching Cookies and I calmly told them to use one finger and I adjusted her head to be away from them, not wanting for her cute nibbles to turn into blood shed, but I never looked away from the guy who stood a few feet from me. He approached me and I tensed without knowing why and I'm pretty sure I looked like a deer in headlights with really dark cheeks.

"Distract me before I go insane."  
His voice rumbled as the crowd of children lessened to none and I saw that look I've seen a thousand times before:  
He doesn't want to be here.

His tawny eyes were squinted and his lips held a frown, making him look extremely unhappy, but I still held my bright smile and decided to tell him about Cookies. He muttered replies and loosened up, letting smirks slip out every once in a while, until his phone screamed for his attention. I promise I didn't jump at the realization that I've been standing around, getting lost in a conversation with someone.

"Hold on.."  
He mumbled, reaching into his pocket to get the phone out, only to hiss out a string of curse words.

"My mom finally noticed I was gone." He said, frowning deeper.

"Oh." I said, unable to find anything else to say.

Why was my chest tight? DidI not want him to go?

"Can I have your number?"  
He seemed shocked by himself the second the words left his lips, but the second he said it the pain in my chest dissipated and was replaced with this light airy feel.

"Yes, yes." I tried not to yell that out.

I took his phone and entered in a number along with snapping a photo of me and a slumbering Cookies, my smile wide and my cheeks warm.  
He did the same with mine after I gave him my phone.

"What's your full name?"  
He asked, meaning he knew my first was Marco because of my name tag.

"Marco. Marco Bodt." I answered, looking up into his tawny eyes.

"And yours..?" I breathed out the answer, wanting to know so damn bad.

"Jean. Jean Kirschtein. See you later, Freckles."

Oh, _fuck me._  
Even his name was attractive. Not that he was! I mean..

I watched as he left whilst he tried to explain to his mom on the phone that he got lost and quickly left, sending a text to Hanji that I needed another ride, which I got.  
I then went inside the building and hurried into the education animal room to the mammal room, putting Cookies away in her cage. I pulled out her sister to distract myself from Jean, but even as I played with Creme and later with some boas in the reptile room, joking with Eren and Armin, I couldn't get my thoughts off Jean.


	2. Day Off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marco has a day off from volunteer work and he spends his morning eating pancakes and being a loser until he calls up someone.

I woke to the sweet aroma of pancakes and the yells of my demanding but adorable little sister, Lore, that stood by my bed and shook me. I played along, pretending I was asleep as she squealed and stomped around my room.

"Marrrrcoooo!" She yelled, her annoyed tone matching my mother's in a shocking way.

"Get up! You have to get ready! Mom is making pancakes!"

I continued to play dead, prompting my sister to grab my shoulders, which is exactly when I attacked. I threw my large upper appendages around her tiny frame and drew her against my body, embracing her close as she kicked, squealed, and giggled with glee. I grinned widely at her and moved a hand to reach up and ruin her perfect, smooth locks, knowing fully well it would make her angry.

"Marco!" She cried, squirming to get out of my grip as I chuckled and squeezed tighter.

Finally, after her 15th beg for freedom, I released her and yanked myself to sit up on my bed. I wonder if Jean messaged me..

"Marco, c'mon! Mom said we gotta eat _now_." Lore demanded, her small hands resting on where her hips would be. Her brows were furrowed and her lips held a false frown and the sight made me shudder. She seriously was my parent's kid.

Lore ran out my room to tell my parents that I was alive and I found my plaid pajama pants to tug onto my legs, allowing them to hang off my hips. I was around my family, not the king. After I tugged an oversized t-shirt over my head to hide my freckled torso, I glanced at my phone, nervous and curious to see if.. _M_ _arco, calm down._ _Yo_ _u spoke to the guy for a couple minutes, that's it._ Despite telling myself these things, I reached over and pressed the button that lit the screen up. No new messages.

I let out a sigh I didn't know I was holding in and shook my head, realizing how much of an overly attached girlfriend I was acting like. I quickly averted my attention to sweet, sweet pancakes, and hurried out my bedroom to the kitchen. Before I could even speak, my stomach hissed and growled and my dad laughed, saying that there was a monster trapped in it.

The entire Bodt clan was in the kitchen, I noticed, with my siblings spread out and the two youngest, Lore and Xander, playing in a corner. Lore was eight and Xander nine, but my other brother, Lukas, was thirteen. Without him I'd probably go crazy with the two of them. I plopped down on a stool in front of the counter, staring at the pancakes with wide eyes and drool almost dripping out my mouth.

"I'm so hungry."  
I said and my mom chortled, her delicate laugh making the air feel relaxing and warm. My dad walked up behind her and craned his neck to peck her cheek, which made her face seem to light on fire with vibrant shades of red. I just choked back a laugh and shook my head, finding their "we're-not-over-our-honeymoon" behavior adorable.

"Breakfast!" My mom called, and my three siblings came scrambling over like a pack of desperate hyenas.

My mom passed us plates with the pancakes and syrup poured atop, mine drenched with the said sweet gooey liquid because who doesn't like syrup? I said my thanks and quickly began to shove the food into my mouth, letting the waves of fluffy pancakes and sweet goop fill my senses. This is probably a good time to talk about my family since they're all here, which is rare.

My mother is a thin, short woman with long onyx locks, like mine, and freckles painted across her visage and spotted amongst her body. She had light brown eyes and a caring smile that could make anyone's heart melt. I think I only got the hair and freckles from her. 

My father, on the other hand, was an extremely tall and broad man, his shoulders wide and his muscles defined. He always had a bright expression on his face and never gave in too easily to anything, which was something I loved about him.  
He had freckles but not as many as my mom, only a few speckled on his arms and sides, hardly enough to call clusters. I obviously took my build from him and my freckles from the both of them.

Lore was like a carbon-copy of my mom, down to the behavior, which was honestly a little bit scary. She was my miniature mom. Don't make her upset. She's young, yeah, but a monster behind her cuteness.

Xander had my mom's slender physique and my dad's facial features, down to the very black specks in his eyes, and in my still-half-asleep state of mind he reminded me of Jean. Jean.. I hope he messages me today, I'm off from work. I shoved another fork-full of pancakes into my mouth to drown my ridiculous thoughts with the delicious morning meal.  _F_ _ocus on the family, Marco._

Lastly there was Lukas, my savior. Despite being in the beginning of his angsty teenage years, Lukas was a really kind kid and I owed him a lot. He had shoulder length dark hair that my mom always complained about and hazel eyes to match. He was well built, which I was slightly jealous of because he had the exact medium between my parents; not too wide, not too thin.

He caught me staring at him and cocked his right brow, confusion and interest engulfing his features that resembled my father's. I averted by gaze to my plate and saw that I was officially pancakeless and full, so I stood up from my seat and carried my sticky plate to the seat to scrub with a sponge and some soap.  
Whilst in the kitchen I helped my mother out, cleaning some dishes and placing them into the washer.

"Kids,"  
My father's boisterous tone caught all of our attention.

"Your mom and I are gonna be late from the bakery tonight. We have a huge order for a birthday party coming up and they want this extremely designed cake, so don't make a mess. Lukas, watch your sister and your brother today. It's Marco's day off from the zoo so let him spend it his way."

I opened my mouth to object, wanting to tell my father that I had absolutely no plans at all, but he wouldn't have it. He just kept shushing me and told me to call up a friend to hang out and soon left with my mother to our family bakery. I sighed, taking defeat pathetically, and slumped down onto the counter.

"Lukas,"  
I murmured with my face pressed against the granite counter,  
"Take the kids to the bakery for dinner. They'll make 'em something."

Lukas just nodded and rounded up the rowdy pair, dragging them from big brother Marco with the explanation that he's really tired from working all week.

Three hours have passed and it's now 12 PM and I have done absolutely nothing other than read a couple chapters of a book I found in my closet. I rolled over on my bed and groaned at the realization that _everyone_ I knew was either at their summer job, the zoo, or on family vacation, other than..  
Jean.

I let my tongue drag across my lips as I rose my head to stare at my cellphone that rested innocently on my nightstand, fighting with myself over if I should contact the guy who wore a freaking beanie in the extreme heat. Would he even be awake right now? I glanced again at the clock, seeing that it was now 12:04 PM, and decided that if he wasn't awake, I might as well give him a good morning.

I reached up and snatched my phone from off the counter, sliding my thumb against the open key to unlock the device. I clicked on the contact list and searched through all of them until I found, in the K section, " **KoolKirschtein** ".  
Geez, he's a dork.  
I had to hold back a chuckle as I saw the photograph that was the icon for the number, a grouchy Jean with a scowl on his face, and let my thumb subconsciously press the call button.

My eyes shot wide when I saw that it was dialing and I quickly pressed the phone against my ear, listening with some bizarre mix of excitement and fear bubbling in my chest. One beep, two beeps, three beeps, pleaseanswer, four beeps, fi--

"Wh.."  
I instantly shot up into a sitting position, clutching my phone with both of my hands.

"Jean! Hey, it's Marco from the zoo! What's u--"  
I stopped.

He yawned and I glanced at the clock, seeing that it was 12:08 PM, and I furrowed my brows.  
"Did I seriously just wake you up?"

"Yeah.." Came his rumbling mutter, his voice obviously rough from just waking up.  
I couldn't hold back my laughter. This guy seriously sleeps that late?

I let my chuckles die before I grinned widely and hummed my response.  
"It's the afternoon, you know."

"It isn't morning until three." He groaned and I heard movement on the other line from him shifting into what I could only assume is a sitting position.

"Mm.. Well, uh, I'm off from work today. I was wondering if you wanted to hang out?" When the words left my mouth I realized how desperate I sounded. My cheeks flooded with embarrassment.

"..Sure, we can. Meet me at Maria's Coffee Shop at 1?" Jean's voice sounded clearer now, more awake and alert, and I felt my heart flutter. It sounded like a date.. It wasn't one, of course! That's, well, gay, and Jean probably isn't gay.I shook my head at the thoughts and realized I haven't answered to him when he had said my name to get my attention.

"S-Sure. See you at 1." I answered, a smile engulfing my visage.

"See you, Frecks'."  
The call ended there.

I sat on my bed, staring at my phone with wide eyes and dark cheeks. I couldn't help but think I just got a date. I let my gaze flicker over to my clock again and saw that it was 12:22 PM now and soon scrambled to my feet. I ran to my dresser and grabbed day's attire, a black t-shirt and a pair of comfortable blue jeans, and left to shower.

I may or may not have spent an extensively long time in front of the mirror, toying with my hair to make sure it looked okay and checking my clothes to make sure there wasn't any wrinkles.

_May or may not have._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WRITING THIS MAKES MY HEART GET ALL FLUFFY, I SWEAR.  
> Also, yeah, the "date" is next chapter.
> 
> I'm updating this faster than I expected.  
> Don't get used to it, writer's block has to happen sometime. ; w;


	3. Overly Sweet Beverages

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marco won't let Jean go through this alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget that Jean's POV is incredibly important to the story as well.

I showed up twenty-five minutes late to the coffee shop.

It wasn't my fault, I mean, traffic was insane because its technically lunch time and I was driving my truck there because its faster than walking, but still. I felt a heavy sinking feeling in my chest as I sent Jean my tenth apology text message since I've been sitting in this same spot. I could see the shop from here, only a few stores down, and I was tempted to just park in some other store's lot.

Which I did. I parked in Walmart's parking lot the second the turn was available and I practically ran down the sidewalk to the coffee shop, yanking open the door when I arrived. The first thing I saw wasn't the people staring at me like I was crazy, panting and wide eyed with worry that Jean could've left, but instead that infamous red beanie rested atop that two-toned undercut I knew too well.

I quickly walked over to his table that was rested along the wall and he lifted his gaze from his phone's screen, raising those tawny eyes up to meet mine. It was then that I saw the purple bags under them and the paleness of his skin; he looked deathly ill.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, there was traffic, I'm late, I'm sorry--" I stumbled over my words as I sat down in front of him, but he interrupted me half way through my apologies.

"Don't worry, Frecks'. It's fine, anyway, it isn't your fault. Lets get coffee?" His voice was so weak and strained, like he wasn't used to talking. I felt a pang of fear stab in my chest and I stared at him, wondering what happened.

Why was Jean so shaken up?

He stood up from his seat and gestured for me to follow with a flick of his wrist, which I did, and we walked over to the counter together to order something to drink.

I stared at the menu and considered the options, trying to figure out what I could possibly want. Oh, is that a chocolate chip mocha? I'll get that. I glanced at Jean to see what he was getting and I saw how tired he seemed. I knew then that I needed to question him hard.

"Whatcha getting, Marco?" Jean asked quietly as he turned to face me, his brows knit together and his lips holding a small frown.

"Uh. A chocolate chip mocha. You?" I tried not to sound as scared as I felt for him.

"I guess just a vanilla bean.." He murmured as he turned to face the counter, ordering our drinks and paying before I could even bat an eyelash.

"Jean! You don't have to pay!" I cried as the cashier took his card, my eyes wide and my mouth agape with shock.

"Marco, no offense, but I kinda have more money than I could ever need on that card. Let me buy the shit, okay?" Jean turned to me with a slight smile tugging on his lips and I sighed, subconsciously rubbing the back of my neck. I kept mumbling my thanks to him until he told me to shut up.

We moved to stand off to the side to wait for our drinks to be announced and I found myself staring at Jean's pallid visage, that pain in my chest growing more prominent.

"Jean.." I whispered, almost scared to ask.

"Yeah?" Jean stared at me with those golden eyes that were dull and exhausted.

"I.. Are you okay?" I felt like I shouldn't have asked but..I just had to. I couldn't stand seeing him that way.

Our drinks were called and they pronounced Jean's name was "Gene". I cringed and grabbed my drink and he took his. He hasn't answered my question yet and didn't do so until we were sitting in our chairs again.

"I'm fine.. Just had some nightmare." He uttered dully as he brought his beverage to his lips, greedily drinking down the liquids that was spiked with too much sugar.

My eyes widened and I straightened up in my seat as I heard his reply. Jean is having nightmares? Why? What was it about? I worried my bottom lip betwixt my teeth for a few moments, trying to figure out if I should ask about it. I didn't want to trigger anything.

"Marco.." Jean stared at me and I felt my heart ache. He looks so frail.

"..What was it about?" I asked tentatively, the words coming out as a delicate whisper. I wanted to just pull him into my arms and hold him, but we barely know each other.

 _We barley know each other_.

Why does he make me feel like I've known him my entire life?

"Something silly.. I don't really want to talk about it right now." Jean muttered after he gulped down his overly sweet beverage. I respected his decision to be silent, but that didn't stop my worries.

"Tell me when you're ready. Whenever." I said, hearing the desperation in my own voice. I wanted him to feel safe and happy. I didn't like seeing him this way.

"..Thanks, Frecks'." He slowly flashed me that smirk of his that made my head spin.

I choked down my thoughts with my drink and let myself get drowned in it so I wouldn't say something dumb, like, 'I really want to kiss you and make you feel better!' because Jean isn't gay. He isn't gay. He won't ever be gay.

 _You gotta stop falling for straight guys, Marco_.

Our conversation took a lighter turn and we ended up laughing over small things and enjoying each other's company. Every time Jean let his chuckle turn into something more, something louder and happier, I had to remind myself not to mess things up.

Jean checked his phone and saw the time, four forty five, and decided that he had to go. We've been sitting around in Maria's Coffee Shop talking for almost four hours and I felt my cheeks blush with embarrassment because I knew I had been staring at Jean the entire time.

"Text me later?" Jean seemed to be begging and I blinked, shocked by his tone.

"O-Of course! You can call me whenever, too, Jean!" I hoped I didn't sound as eager as I felt.

Jean's smile warmed and we stood up together, throwing away our empty plastic cups, and we left the shop with him in lead.

"Jean.." I mumbled, staring at him with my eyes searching his for emotion.

"Yeah?" Jean whispered and I felt my heart race faster.

"Seriously, call me whenever you need to, okay? I'm here for you."

"Marco, I, thanks. Thank you."

"Don't thank me. It's the least I can do as your friend." Oh, god. I just said we're friends. We are, right? I felt like we are.. But, I mean, does he think that?

"You're too fucking nice for your own good, Freckled Jesus." Jean said, his lips holding a wide smile. I doubled over, cackling at his new nickname for me. Freckled Jesus? Really?

"Whatever, Horseface!" I cried out through my giggles.

"I do not have a horseface!" Jean whined and I only laughed harder, even when he punched my shoulder playfully.

"Pff. Sure. See you, Jean." I let myself find composure before I smiled at him brightly.

"Later, Marco."

I watched as he left to his vehicle, which turned out to be a pink Bugatti.

Seriously.

_A pink Bugatti._

_Is this man even straight?_

I shook my head and chuckled as I walked to my shitty truck and drove home, blaring MCR again.

When I got home, my phone chimed for my attention and I swear I didn't grin giddily when I saw it was Jean asking if I made it home safe.

We didn't stop texting until 4 am.

**From Jean:**

Tired man

**To Jean:**

Will you be able to sleep well?

**From Jean:**

Hope so ...

**To Jean:**

You can call me if you need me, okay, Jean? Any time.

**From Jean:**

u sure ??

**To Jean:**

Completely.

**From Jean:**

Goodnight, F.J.

**To Jean:**

F.J..?

**From Jean:**

Freckled Jesus, get it ??

**To Jean:**

Pff. Goodnight, Horseface.

We passed out then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I seriously didn't know what their drinks should be.


	4. Burning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nightmares and confessions tangle themselves together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is the longest chapter so far ???  
> I'm a dork oh god

"Eren!" Armin cried as he saw the brunette carelessly toss a boa into another resting position, "Do not throw the snake around! You'll get bitten, Eren!"

Eren just cheekily grinned with that determined look in his eyes as he kept tossing the large snake into new positions and I knew _why._ It gets tiring holding those buggers. They're too heavy. I pitied Eren, but hey, it was his choice.

Mikasa shook her head as she watched her adopted sibling act a fool, knowing that he'll pay the price, and stepped in to gingerly take the snake from the passionate boy's hold. Eren whined, but Mikasa wasn't listening as she placed the boa back into his enclosure.

"Mikasa, I had that." Eren muttered, obviously irritated. Honestly, watching these three interact was amusing. I grinned and placed my left hand on my hip, enjoying the show.

I chuckled and Reiner came up behind me, slamming his large meaty palm on my shoulder. My eyes went wide and I looked back at him, confused and curious.

He was laughing boisterously, kinda like my dad does, and Bertholdt was seen by his side, obviously sweating.

More than usual because of Eren and the snake, but still.

Annie stood behind the towering male with a stony expression on her face; she was an unreadable person and she scared me a little bit. I'd like to be her friend, though.

You never saw the three apart, even though Reiner and Bertholdt were a couple and Annie was just their friend. I guess that was the same with Mikasa, Armin, and Eren. Despite Eren and Armin being together, they never were without Eren's adopted sister.

I smiled up at Reiner when I saw there was nothing wrong, that he was joking around, and let out another laugh, his being contagious enough.

"Eren, you really should be careful with the animals." Armin mumbled, staring into those teal eyes to get the other to take him more seriously. No one liked people getting injured around here, especially Levi. He'd bark at us forever. I shuddered at the very thought.

"Well," I breathed out, feeling relaxed around my friends. I loved these people. "I'm almost done here."

"Marrrrrcooooo. You think you're leavin' is so soon? Hah! You can never leave, Freckles." Reiner grinned, squeezing my shoulder as he spoke. He pressed his large palm against my back and shoved me forward, pushing me towards the turtle tank so I would get one.

I heard Bertholdt complain quietly to Reiner about forcing me to stay longer than my shift, but Reiner shook it off. I worked well with the turtles and they didn't pee on me as much as the others, so they liked me being on turtle duty.

I never really objected. They're kinda cute, anyway. I leaned down into the tank and gingerly plucked up a young ornate box turtle from his spot on the water, using both hands with my thumbs atop his shell and my index digits on the middle plate under; a tight and firm hold.

"Hi, cutie." I whispered, leaning my face down to look at the turtle's tiny head that bobbed in and out of his shell. I smiled warmly and stroked the top of his shell for a few moments.

I hummed with delight and flashed the roaring crowd of six a wide smile before I left the reptile room to carry the turtle to the patio, placing the little guy on the warm concrete when I arrived.

He eagerly crawled around, fast for a turtle, and I watched him with glee. Seeing them energetic was always great because it meant they were healthy.

"Go, speedy, go!" I encouraged, hoping that the turtle understood English.

After a couple minutes of silently watching a turtle scurry around, my phone screamed obnoxiously. I jumped at the sudden sharp cry and scrambled to get my phone out my pocket, bringing it in front of me as I squinted my eyes. Who's texting me during work? Everyone knows I have no time to talk. I frowned, worried about the situation. I tried to read the screen with the sun glaring on it, but I soon gave up and used my free hand as shade.

**From Jean:**

Marco?

_Jean is texting me? I thought, a smile tugging on my lips as I hastily typed my response. I just didn't want to keep him waiting, okay..?_

**To Jean:**

Yes, Jean? :]

_Please reply._

_My phone buzzed and my heart swelled._

**From Jean:**

Are you at the zoo?

_He hates the zoo, I remembered._

**To Jean:**

Yeah! I'm almost done today. c:

_Instantly, I got a reply. I wondered if he was staring at the screen, waiting._

**From Jean:**

Get your freckled ass over to the chimp area. I'm here.

_My eyes widened and I blinked quickly, shocked, but it wasn't like I was going to tell him no._

**To Jean:**

Alright. You'll have to come with me to sign out. Is that okay?

**From Jean:**

Just hurry.

I tried to shove that sinking feeling away.

I plucked the siting turtle and hurried indoors, rushing to the reptile room, and I placed him back into his tub.

I turned to the others and smiled warmly at them all, watching as Bertholdt nervously let the salamander walk on his gloved hands with Reiner on side duty to make sure the salamander was safe. Eren and Armin were tucked into the corner, playing with the female armadillo.

Did I mention that four of these six are extremely gay? Yeah, you can guess the pairs.

"Guys," I called, gaining everyone's attention. I smiled, knowing well that they'll protest me leaving again.

"My friend needs me now so I really gotta leave, okay?"

"Marrrcooo!" Reiner and Eren cried, the both of them not wanting me to leave for obvious reasons; the turtles weren't done with exercising.

I sighed and smiled wider, amused by their neediness. "Something came up. You guys have fun being peed on. See ya!"

A chorus of goodbyes bid me farewell as I left the Education Animal area.

I took a sharp left and ran down the hallway to the main entrance to the zoo, taking a side trail that employees and volunteers had access to. That sinking feeling was coming back, but stronger, like I knew something was up. Jean seemed different.

Finally, I saw the outdoor chimp exhibit and I jumped over a fence, landing right next to a large butterfly bush.

"Jean?"

I called out, my brow cocked as I stepped forward. My eyes nervously looked for that red beanie or that wonderfully bad undercut, trying to locate Je--

"Marco.." A very, very strained voice that just barely had traces of Jean Kirschtein in it stopped me in my tracks.

I turned around and saw him standing against the fence a few feet away, hidden by the huge butterfly bush, and I let out a light chuckle. He was hiding from me?

"Jean! Hey, we still need to sign me o--"

Jean. I was staring at him with a wide smile until I _saw_ him. He looked like, well, shit. A disheveled mess. He had deep purple bags under his eyes and his entire physique just seemed delicate. He looked like an old porcelain doll, ready to shatter at any moment.

"Jean.." I mumbled, moving my feet to step forward, but he beat me to it with two quick strides. Before I even knew it, the smell of strong axe filled my head and the extra warmth of a body on mine burned my skin.

My eyes were wide and I stared down Jean, parting my dry lips to speak.

"What happened?" Who died? I coiled my arms tightly around Jean and the touch seemed to significantly calm him down. I tried to ignore the way my chest felt when I noticed that.

"Marco.." He sobbed into my uniform shirt that smells like too many animals at once. I shook, unused to hearing that usually strong voice in such a weak whisper. I tightened my hold around his thin frame and rubbed his back, trying to help. I was frowning heavily at this point.

"Marco.. You're alive." It was a statement, but one that made my entire body freeze. He's mentioned something like this before, like when he had that car crash dream about me. I gulped, feeling a sting in my eyes. Jean.

"What?" I asked, trying to sound as calm as I didn't feel.

"S-Stay still, okay?" Jean asked as he tentatively pulled back, holding me at arm's length, and I stiffened. I watched as his gaze traveled along my entire frame and I wondered why. What happened to Jean? He's so broken. That pang in my chest hit again.

If it hit then, it definitely slammed into me the second I heard Jean break down into loud, sloppy sobs. He buried his wet face into my shirt and I pressed him against me, whispering over and over that I'm okay.

"D-Don't leave me." he begged through his cries, and I nodded vigorously whilst mumbling that I wouldn't dare.

"Jean.." I whispered, my own voice cracking. I can't cry now, he needs me.

I just held him and rubbed his back until his sobs turned into small whimpers that barely left his lips.

Once he calmed, he pulled back from me and frowned heavily. I stared at him, obvious worry on my face over his sudden burst of emotion, but right now I knew I shouldn't press it. It'd throw him over the edge again.

"Jean," I kept my voice soft and soothing, "follow me. I need to sign out from work."

Jean merely nodded and came to my side, barely inches from me, and didn't leave that closeness until I had to separate from him when we reached the sign in room. He stood nervously by the door, watching me as I tapped my digits against the touch screen to enter my password. Once I finished, I took off my name tag and put it in my folder, then walked out.

Jean once again got close to me, almost connected to my hip, and I tried not to act like I noticed. Not yet.

"Wanna walk around?" I asked, and Jean slowly nodded. I gave him a tight smile and tried to hide the pain I was feeling from seeing him this way. He didn't need my feelings like that.

I led Jean to multiple enclosures, mainly my favorites, like the Columbus Monkeys, the Gibbons, the Amur Leopard, and some smaller animals. After a bunch of my lame jokes, Jean finally calmed down enough to laugh at some of them.

I smiled even though I knew he was just pretending to be alright.

Jean was always at my side, only inches away from me, and if I strayed, he'd get scared. I stared at his hand that twitched a few times and I gulped, wondering if I could just reach out and grab it--

_No. Marco, Jean isn't like you._

I let out a small sigh and a few moments later heard a loud hissing noise coming from the guy next to me. Jean's cheeks flushed and I chuckled, hearing how hungry he was.

"Wanna go out to eat?" It's not a date. It's not a date, Marco. Stop thinking that.

"Please?" Jean mumbled, looking a little paler than a few moments before.

"Alright! Sina Sandwich Shop is really good." I grabbed Jean's arm and tried to ignore the static in my touch. I ran through the zoo while tugging him behind, finding the staff and volunteers only trail and using that to get to the exit.

I led Jean into the parking lot to my lame truck, hoping Jean wouldn't comment on how horrible it was, and thankfully he didn't.

I opened the passenger door for him and he reached up, grabbing the support bar to yank his light physique up into the seat. I smiled warmly and shut the door, then ran to the driver side of the truck.

I opened the door and climbed in, then slammed it and fished for my keys that were in my back pocket.

When I found them, I let out a sigh of relief and shoved the key into the ignition. I turned the truck on, listening to the low hum of the engine.

Jean didn't speak the entire ride and I kept glancing at him, seeing that pained expression on his face.

My chest just kept feeling tighter and tighter and I gripped the wheel harder.

We stood in front of the sandwich shop menu and I gulped, staring at all the options. I didn't know what to get and I turned to Jean to ask him.

"Whatcha getting?" I hummed, keeping my tone light. I didn't want to startle him.

"Uh. Club sandwich.." Jean mumbled, flickering his gaze over to me. I tried not to stare at him.

"I'll get that, too." And with that said, I stepped forward to order our sandwiches and some sweet tea. Jean quickly appeared by my side, slightly shaken up by me moving forward without him, (I kicked myself inside for doing that), and protested me paying.

"Jean! You've paid for everything. Let me pay for once, okay?"

Jean let out a wavering sigh and nodded, that's when I slipped my card to the cashier worker to pay.

Once we placed our order I knew we had to get a seat, so I turned to Jean.

"Where do you want to sit?" I asked, gesturing to the large selection. There were huge sections with four tables and there was one booth hidden by two walls that was only passed by waiters carrying plates. Somehow, I knew he wanted that one.

"That one..?" He pointed to exactly the one I knew. I smiled at him reassuringly and nodded, wanting him to know I was okay with the decision.

I led him to the booth and plopped down on the seat in front of his and he sat exactly in front of me. That's when the silence engulfed us.

"Jean.." I whispered, staring at his visage painted white and his under eyes purple.

I was interrupted by our meal arriving, our twin meals being placed in front of us, and I sighed. I picked at the sandwich and kept staring at Jean as he took a timid bite of his sandwich.

"Jean," I started again, determined to know why he was hurting. I can't stand seeing him this way.

Jean set his sandwich down and stared at me for a painfully long minute.

"Marco.. I had another nightmare." Jean whispered, his tawny eyes widening and his hands curling into fists. I stopped breathing for a few seconds, terrified for Jean, because he didn't deserve this.

"You, uh, you died again." He tried to laugh this time and it came out more like a painful choking noise.

"I-I was sleeping when I got the call that your house caught on fire.. Everyone got out in time but you. You wanted to save them, so you took longer to get out.. You never did." Jean's shoulders shook and his voice cracked multiple times as he spoke. I stared at him as my hand pressed on my lips, silencing my gasps. My eyes were wide and my stomach felt sick.

"W-When I got there, they found your body. It was just charred bones.. Just charred bones." That's when I couldn't handle it. I couldn't handle the way Jean's beautiful face was getting stained with tears and I couldn't handle being away from him.

I stood up and moved to his seat, sliding in beside him. I quickly wrapped my arms around him and he turned to face me, instantly clinging back like a baby chimp. He buried his face into my neck and sobbed. My heart broke. Tears stung in my eyes and a few slipped free, but I tried to be strong for him.

His entire body was wracked by the strength of his sobs.

Everything hurt then.

"Jean.." I whispered as softly as I could with my palms rubbing circles on his back.

"Jean, I'm alive. I'm okay. It was just a dream." I didn't die in fire. Flames didn't eat me. I'm okay.

"F-Fuck, Marco, don't leave me, please, please, don't leave me." He begged through his cries and I squeezed him tighter.

"I won't. You can come home with me, okay? I'm not sending you home when you're this shaken up.." I mumbled and Jean let out a relieved sigh.

I waited for Jean's cries to turn into light whimpers and I kept whispering to him the entire time to sooth him.

 _It hurt_.

Seeing Jean this way hurt.

After a while, we were just holding each other in the booth. Jean finally pulled back and I tried to ignore how cold I felt without his extra warmth. I flagged a waiter over and got us boxes for our barely touched sandwiches, deciding they can be a meal tomorrow or something.

I don't think either of us can stomach anything tonight.

Jean and I left the shop and climbed into my truck and we drove to my home. The sun was already setting and we were both tired so it was almost time for us to sleep.

I pulled up in front of my home, which was two stories and painted a smooth white. I knew Jean's house was probably a mansion or something so for a few moments, I felt embarrassed.

"Your house looks warm.." Jean mumbled and I turned to smile at him.

We left the truck and hurried to the front door, which was unlocked because our neighborhood is literally just old people. I stepped inside and Jean followed and the squeals of Lore greeted us as she raced down the stairs and threw herself into my arms.

I laughed as I held her, swinging her side to side until I set her down in front of me. Other footsteps alerted me that I wasn't just Lore home, but also Xander and Lukas. I cocked a brow at Lukas and he answered my question.

"Mom and dad are caught up at the bakery because they're doing a pretty intense wedding cake that needs all the time it can get. I've already fed these two, so they're alright." I watched as his light eyes turned from me to Jean, the obvious outsider.

"And you are..?" Lukas asked politely and was followed by a chorus of Lore and Xander repeating the question.

"U-Uh, Jean Kirschtein. I'm Marco's friend. You all have so much freckles.." Jean stammered and mumbled, flickering his gaze amongst the group and I. I chuckled and so did my siblings because we knew we looked like clones.

"Well, guys, Jean is staying the night here! We gotta go study now." I said, leaning down as I toyed with Lore's hair. I smiled widely and she swatted her tiny hands at me to make me stop until she froze and gave me a really curious look.

"Is Jean your _boyfriend?_ "

_Oh, god._

I stiffened and turned to look at Jean, whom had the same shocked expression as I did, wide eyes and flushed cheeks. I waved my hands in front of me and shook my head.

"N-No! He's just my friend! C'mon, Jean!" I grabbed his wrist and dragged him through the group, dashing up the staircase to my bedroom.

"U-Uh, Marco.." Jean was staring at me with that same expression and I shut the door. I didn't want to talk about it. Not yet.

"Let's get ready for bed." I said, signaling that we aren't talking about it. Jean sighed and ran his fingers through his two-toned undercut after he tossed his red beanie aside.

"I have clothes you can wear.." I mumbled, tossing him a pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt that will surely fit him like a dress.

I grabbed my own clothes and I turned to see Jean in mid-changing, his shirt over his head as he tried to tug it down.

I saw his sharp hipbones protruding out his skin and his ribs when he struggled to get the shirt on; I wanted to reach out and touch him.

I didn't, of course, and turned my flushed face away to remove my uniform to put on my own identical pajamas.

"I'll sleep on the floor.." Jean mumbled and I turned to him quickly.

"You're my guest! Take my bed." I demanded, shoving his scrawny self to the furniture in question. Jean whined but I told him to shut up.

I laid out a pillow and a blanket for me on the floor, which was cold, and laid down as Jean did the same on my bed.

"Marco.." Jean whispered after I turned out the light, and I let out a hum in response.

"Everything smells like cinnamon in your house." Jean stated, and I felt my cheeks burn. I briefly wondered if my freckles were stained red.

"U-Uh, yeah, my mom likes that smell.." I feebly replied, shifting uncomfortably on the floor.

"You guys look like clones, too." Jean deadpanned and I chuckled softly.

"We get that a lot." I turned to face him and found him staring at me already. Or, at least his eyes. It was too dark to see his face.

"What was your sister talking about earlier?" He finally asked. I'm not ready.

"It was nothing.." I mumbled, knowing Jean could catch on to my lying, but he didn't press.

The silence that followed made me so scared.

"Jean, I-if I was..into guys like that, would you hate me?" I asked, feeling the words leave my mouth before I could think.

"No." Jean immediately answered. "I didn't know you swinged that way, but hey.. More for you?"

I tried not to let him know how safe I felt in that moment. Jean didn't hate me for my sexuality, he didn't think I was a freak, he just saw me as Marco. Marco Bodt. I felt like crying but I did that too much earlier.

"Thank you.." I uttered softly and Jean let out a small chuckle.

"S-So, you like guys, Marco? Just guys?" He seemed scared to ask.

"No.. I like more than guys. I mean, I guess I like everyone. I'm what you call a ' _pansexual_ '.." I mumbled and Jean was quiet.

"Whoever gets you is a lucky person." He finally said, and I closed my eyes. He didn't know who I really wanted, did he?

"I don't think they'll ever feel the same way about me." I finally said, talking to Jean about him, and Jean's eyes went wide. He sat up quickly.

"There's someone you like?!" He cried, and I blinked owlishly.

"Y-Yeah!" I tried not to make it obvious.

" _Dammit_.." I heard, even though it was really quiet. I didn't wonder why.

Silence fell between us again and the only noise in the room was my electronic fan blowing air on us.

"Marco, I can't see you." Jean finally broke the awkward air. I heard the sudden panic in his voice.

"I'm right here, Jean." I tried to sooth him the best I could.

"Marco, I can't see you." He repeated shakier and I gulped.

"I-I can share the bed with you? There's enough space for the both of us.."  
I was scared he'd freak out about the idea.

He didn't.

" _Please?"_ He begged and I stiffened.

I untangled myself from my blanket cocoon and stood, walking to my bed. Jean made space for me and I laid down, pressing my head against the pillow. I turned to face him and saw his eyes get half-lidded, sleep heavy on them.

"I'm here, Jean.." I whispered and, maybe because he was tired and delirious, but Jean wrapped his arms around me and pressed me close. I held him too, wanting to reassure him that it was okay. I tried to ignore the way my heart sped up and how good he smelled.

We fell asleep tangled in each others limbs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS WAS REALLY FEELSY I KNOW
> 
> IM A LOSER HNFNN


	5. Heated Touches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Although Jean doesn't understand it, Marco does.

The sun can be really annoying in the morning, especially when you're trying to not wake up.

I mean, I was already awake but I wanted to pretend I wasn't. Jean was cuddling into me and he has drool on his cheek and the thought of ruining this moment made my stomach twist. Maybe I was taking advantage, but his bed hair was adorable as heck.

His "shitty" (that's what he calls it, but it isn't that bad) undercut was sticking up in every direction and his expression seemed so delicate compared to his usual scowl. There was no way I was waking up.

I don't know how long we laid there but Jean was finally stirring into consciousness, his eyelids twitching rapidly as he began to slip awake. I gulped and tensed, hoping he wouldn't open them to see how close my face was. I could smell his heavy axe spray and I loved it. Axe sucks, but not on Jean.

"Marco?" Jean's blurred tawny eyes stared at me with confusion laced in them and I gulped, embarrassed by my thoughts, and flushed as I tried to free myself from our knotted bodies.

"M-Morning, Jean!" I squawked after I broke free, staring at him with my wide eyes. I refused to look down at his torso, to the way his shirt clung to his frame.

"Mornin'.." Jean cracked as he rolled off my bed and onto the floor, grunting as he landed. He laid there, refusing to move, and I glanced over. He looked like someone ran him over. I tried not to laugh at his plank position.

"Sleepy?" I asked, leaning over the edge of the bed to smile brightly at his back.

"First good sleep in a while." He grunted in response and I felt my heart swell up in my chest. I hoped I had to do with that.

"That's great! Aren't you hungry?" At the mentioning of food, Jean's stomach hissed and mine did too. We never finished our meal last night and we were equally starving. Jean peeled himself off the carpet of my room and stood up shakily, testing his legs first.

I followed, crawling off my bed and to my dresser to get us both clothing for the day; I didn't know if Jean wanted to shower here but I offered anyway as I went through my outfits to see if anything would fit him.

"Wanna shower?" I hummed as I pulled an old white t-shirt from the very back of the drawer, holding it out in front of me. I then turned to Jean and threw it at him, which he promptly caught, and grinned. We repeated this process with a pair of old baggy shorts.

"Sure." Jean answered as he hung the clothes over his arm, prepared to be cleansed.

"C'mon." I said as I walked out my room, opening the door behind me so Jean could follow. I quietly wandered through the hall and led him to the family bathroom. He stepped in and set the clothes down atop the toilet, and before I could even shut the door, he began to yank yesterday's t-shirt off his torso. My eyes went wide and I slammed the door shut, not wanting to stare at his thin back, and felt my feet slid down until I felt my rear hit the ground.

"Get control over this.." I muttered to myself as I shoved my rested my head atop my bony knees, trying my best to calm my rapid heartbeat. It was just his back. It's normal for guys to change around guys.

It's normal that you think your best friend looks hot without his shirt on.

 _Noitsnot_.

"You're so gay.." I groaned, irritated by my own thoughts, and I stood up to walk into my own room. I grabbed a fresh pair of boxers and my usual attire, sweater and jeans duo, and waited for my turn to shower.

I spent that free time calling Reiner and Bertholdt, the boyfriends, for some homosexual advice.

I've always trusted them with that stuff.

"Yeah, Marco, what's up?" Reiner answered his phone after the first two rings and I readjusted my sitting position, trying to summon up the courage to talk about my situation.

"Is Bert there too?" I asked, and I heard that familiar sweaty guy's 'Hello!' in the background. They were rarely separate.

"Yeah! You heard 'em?" Reiner asked.

"Yeah, I did. Okay.. Guys, I need advice. Gay advice." I heard Reiner squeal to Bert off the phone about how he's officially the gay mama and Bert scolded him.

"Really? You're usually great with guys! What's up?"

I gulped. There's no going back after you've gotten Reiner's interest.

"There's this guy I really, really like. He's my friend, actually. We met at the zoo when I was volunteering. He hates the zoo. He comes from a rich family that couldn't give a crap about him and he was there because his mom scheduled bonding time. He's actually the guy I left early to hang out with." the day before flashed in my mind. "And he's straight."

"Oooohh.." Reiner cooed after I finished my brief summary of Jean Kirschtein and I sighed into the phone. "How do you know he's straight?" Bert had asked and I blinked. He sounded actually curious.

"Well, I told him I was pansexual last night and he didn't come out too. And he just..has that straight guy attitude! He's the type that says 'no homo'." I left out how he begged me to sleep with him because I knew Reiner wouldn't understand the situation.

"Whoa, he knows you go for dick?" Reiner asked and I choked, embarrassed by his straightforwardness, but he's Reiner and I probably should've expected this. I could hear Bert's scolding " _Reiner_."

"Yeah, he knows. He was hurt that I didn't tell him sooner, actually." I could hear Reiner and Bert talk off phone and gulped, anxious to hear what they have to say.

"What else, Bodt Boy?" Reiner asked, and I thought hard. Especially about his pink Bugatti parked still in the zoo parking lot. "Uh. He drives pink Bugatti. I mean, it isn't his car, but he drives it."

"Sounds gay to me." Reiner hummed and I groaned.

"What if he's just st--" I was cut off by my bedroom door opening and the sight of after-wash Jean made my breath hitch. His undercut was messy and dripping with water and the way he was clad in my clothes that hung off his handsomely gangly physique made me shudder. I could feel my freckled cheeks flush.

"Oh, Marco, are you on the phone?" Jean asked, staring at me with a confused expression on his sharp features.

"Y-Yeah! Was! Was on the phone." I said, quickly hanging up the call as I heard Reiner scream questions into my ear. I'll have to explain it later to the gay mama.

"Oh.. Alright. Well, your turn." Jean didn't move from that spot in the doorway and I didn't want to ask why. At this point, I knew. He's been this way all morning. He's keeping his distance and I couldn't blame him.

I gulped down the anxious feeling that was swelling and swooped past him to get out and to the shower.

I rushed as I washed my body and rinsed off, not wanting to take long, and quickly yanked on my lazy attire. I didn't bother much with my wet hair as I stared at it in the mirror and I quickly polished my teeth, letting the mint paste brush my tongue. I shuddered and spat it out.

 _Marco Bodt is ready for the day_ , I declared in my thoughts, and I left the bathroom.

"Jean, lets get some food." I said as I peeked into my bedroom. He was sitting against the wall with a heavy scowl on his face. I didn't ask. He got up and followed me down the stairs to the kitchen, where the rest of the Bodt clan was already crowded.

"Marrrrrcooo!" Lore cried as her big brown eyes spotted me and I laughed as I braced myself for her tackle. She sprinted to me and I caught her before she could hit the landing, swinging her feather-light frame side to side as she giggled gleefully.

"Good morning." I chimed to her and the rest of my family, earning happy replies. They're morning people. I set Lore down and she turned to Jean, staring at him almost suspiciously until she recognized him.

"You're Marco's boyfriend!" Lore pointed at Jean's shocked face and I turned in horror to see my mom smiling approvingly at Jean and I. Even my dad flashed a small grin. I turned to look desperately at Lukas, wanting him to save me.

He wouldn't, of course.

"Oh, are you Marco's boyfriend?" My mom chimed as she came over, forgetting the eggs and bacon in the pan. She looked Jean up and down and I swore that Jean's head was going to catch on fire.

"N-No, Ma'am! I'm just his friend!" Jean tried to sound polite and Lore whined, obviously disappointed. I stared at my family and felt my throat tighten with each breath.

I kinda really wished Jean wasn't denying that. I mean, we aren't dating or anything, but it ripped an open wound wider.

"Oh, really? I'm sorry about Lore, than." My mom chortled as she gestured to my little sister and my dad suddenly shot up, running to the pan where the burning eggs and bacon met their doom. During all the commotion, they were neglected. The smell of burnt breakfast food filled the air.

"Oops!" My mom cried as she ran to my dad's side, helping him turn off the stove top. Xander choked on the smell and Lukas's nose turned up in disgust. Lore didn't give a crap.

"Your family is kinda funny.." Jean mumbled to me as he watched the scene that looked some Full House episode made modern.

"Who are you, than?" My dad asked after he shoveled the burned meal into the garbage. I had already gotten cold pizza out the fridge and brought it over to Jean so we could eat some, and Jean visibly tensed.

I held back a laugh as I took a big bite out of my chilly slice. My dad was intimidating at first, always. He was broad and muscly with a booming voice but he was giant teddy bear.

"J-Jean Kirschtein, sir! I'm Marco's friend." Jean looked like he was about to salute my dad. I grinned widely at him and Lukas snorted after he swallowed some cereal. He and I exchanged a knowing glance and mine said: ' _Yeah, I like this loser. I have horrible taste'._

"Don't piss yourself, Jean. We're all pretty relaxed in this house." My dad chuckled and Jean calmed slightly. "You and Marco should come down to the bakery today."

"Bakery, sir..?" Jean asked, seeming visibly confused. His brows furrowed and he glanced at me. I choked on my slice of pizza and went wide eyed, shocked that I hadn't mentioned the family business. I swallowed the cold crust painfully and squeaked out my answer.

"W-We have a family bakery! ' _Bodt's Buns'_! Mom and dad work there and I sometimes do if i'm not at the zoo." Jean stared at me for a few long moments before he processed what I said. And then, after a couple more minutes, started to cackle.

"' _Bodt's Buns'_ , really?" He laughed and my dad began to laugh too. It became a chain reaction then: every single Bodt began to giggle at how silly our bakery's name was. My family was lame, okay?

"It's a great name!" My little sister defended the business and I smiled warmly at her, knowing that she always made fun of it. She was kinda like Jean, protective without meaning to be.

"It is." Jean agreed as he wiped some tears out his eyes from all the cackling. He seemed so free around my family and that felt..nice, like he accepted them and they accepted him.

"Lets go?" Mom said and we all agreed, except for Xander. He had plans with a friend. It was then that I realized Jean knew no ones names.

"Jean," I glanced at him and tried not to end up staring. "This is Lore." I said, pointing to my sister. "This is Xander." I continued, pointing to the third eldest. "And this is Lukas." I finished, pointing to my lord and savior. "They're all my siblings."

I then turned to my parents.  
"Mrs. and Mr. Bodt."

My mom smiled a kind smile and I knew what Jean was thinking: this is a real mom. "You can call me Eli."

My dad swung his arm over my mom's tiny shoulders and smirked wolfishly at Jean. I held back a laugh. "The names Daan."

"That's the Bodt Clan!" I finished as I clapped my hands together, grinning widely at Jean. He seemed shocked by our genuine happiness and I wanted to make him feel it too. I'll do it.

"Thank you guys.." He mumbled as he lowered his head, hiding his blurry eyes from them. My mom just smiled warmer and my dad gave a knowing nod. We all fled the house and walked down the street like a herd to our shop, with Jean and I trailing behind.

"So, what do you think?" I asked as I glanced over at him. He had this unreadable expression on his face and I was worried because he's been like this since we woke up. Something was eating at Jean and it was my mission to find out by the end of the day, no matter what.

I can't let him hurt.

"I was right," He began slowly as he stared forward at my family minus Xander, "It is warm."

I wanted to hug him.

We came up the bakery and my dad unlocked the front door, opening up for business, and we sauntered inside. Mom turned to Jean and looked down to see his hands, checking to see how big they were. She grinned at what she saw, approving, and glanced up at him. "Wanna learn some bakery stuff?" She asked and Jean, surprisingly, nodded.

Everyone went to the back and Lukas managed the cash register as customers began to flood in.

We spent the next few hours covered in flour, laughing and making a mess, especially when I learned that Jean knew absolutely _nothing_ about baking.

"Marco! Marco, Marco, Marco! Look!" Jean yelled as he squatted down in front of our oven, gazing proudly at the first loaf of bread he made that was successful out of six tries. "Look, it's growing!"

I laughed as I sat down next to him, staring into the oven. I used to do this a lot as a kid, actually. It was my favorite part about baking: seeing their birth.

"Cool, right?" I said, turning my gaze away to smile at Jean. His eyes were wide and his lips held a cocky smirk. His skin was illuminated by the orange glow of the oven light and he looked so free then. I stared and stared until Jean glanced over at me, flustered, and I looked away with a sharp gulp.

I had to stop.

I can't keep making things tense.

We sat in silence until the beep ripped through the quiet bakery kitchen.

"It's ready." Jean sounded like a child ready for his present and I let out a small chuckle. We stood together, wielding oven mitts, and opened the burning appliance to reach in and take the trays of white bread out. We laid them out on the cooling rack and slammed the oven shut with a kick.

Jean looked pretty proud as he stared at his loaf, which had a fresh carved ' _J_ ' into the top of it. He took a picture of it with his iPhone and causally set it as his background, which I began to laugh at, and he punched my arm with a mumble to shut the fuck up.

"You're super proud, huh?" I said, grinning at him. I held a bread cutting knife in my hand, ready to demolish that beautifully scratchy J into nice slices.

"Yeah. I've never baked, you know!" I snorted and laid the loaf out on the counter, nicely slicing it. I took a particularly thick piece betwixt my digits, holding it like it was a precious item. I turned to Jean, devilishly smirking, and he stumbled back. He actually looked scared and I had to hold in my bubbling laughter.

I leapt at him, bread in hand, and shoved the piece onto his lips. Jean grunted and opened his mouth, grabbing it with his teeth to try and gain some control, but I laughed and smushed the entire piece against his mouth and chin. He groaned and I stood in front of him with a sense of accomplishment, since Jean's face was now covered in crumbs. He laughed and chewed, trying to swallow the dry bread, and I stared expectantly.

"How did it taste?" I beamed, and Jean grunted as he finished it off. "Not bad. Almost died eating it, though."

I laughed again and was glad that my stupid wedding cake moment impression made some of the tight air vanish.

I took a smaller piece of Jean's loaf and took a bite, testing the flavor on my tongue, and nodded in approval. "Novice, but tasty. Did leave my mouth a bit parched, though." I judged, earning a small shove from Jean.

It was then that his phone began to holler for attention. I was startled by the sudden noise and stared at Jean, fear engulfing in my chest, because I didn't know who could be calling.

Jean brushed the flour off his lanky digits onto his borrowed apron (Lukas's) and fished his phone out pocket, flicking the screen open. He sighed with an irritated frown resting on his face at the sight of who was calling, his mom, and answered.

"What?" Jean hissed into the phone, and I stared. Jean's expression just seemed to turn even more sour when he heard the whiny voice on the other end.

"Mom, look, I was with a fucking friend. Why do you even care? Why did you even notice? You never fucking notice me anyway, so why now?" Jean was like a ticking time bomb now, and at any moment he was going to snap. I stepped forward, not giving a damn that he could get defensive, and stood beside him for support.

I wasn't letting him deal with her alone.

After a few silent moments of Jean listening to his mom's explanation that she was told by the housekeeper that he never came home, Jean hung up. He didn't say goodbye. He didn't scream. He just hung up.

"Jean.." I mumbled as I reached back to untie my apron. Jean followed my lead, tossing Lukas's aside. I stared at him for a couple seconds, then smiled as an idea came to mind.

"Wanna go on a car ride?" I asked, knowing how keen to the idea I had sounded. Jean ran his floury digits though his messy undercut and nodded slowly.

"That sounds..nice, Frecks'. At the end, can we go to the zoo? I gotta get my own car to go home." Jean didn't sound like he actually wanted to go back to his hell, but we both knew he had to. We walked out the kitchen and left the bakery with our quick goodbyes to my family.

We walked down the sidewalk with a tight silence between the two of us, which didn't go away even as we climbed into my crappy truck.

I pulled out my keys and flicked the car to life, listening to the engine purr before I buckled in. Jean followed and I drove out the driveway, and it was then that the topic of music came up.

"What do you want to listen to, Jean?" I asked with my eyes on the road. Jean moved around for a few seconds and he got his phone out, flicking on a band I haven't heard.

"Say Anything." Jean said, sounding pretty proud of the band. I listened to their punk-like style before and smiled, knowing that Jean probably liked them a lot. 

"What about MCR?" I asked, praying that Jean was in love with My Chemical Romance like I was.

"What? No. No, Marco, no." Jean sounded actually disgusted and I blinked owlishly, shocked that someone human can hate MCR, so I chalked Jean off as an alien.

"What?! How can you hate MCR? They're amazing!" I cried, flicking my gaze over to Jean. He was smirking slightly, amused by my pain probably.

"They suck. They're terrible and their band is dead. Its not 2006 anymore." He said, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Oh? Well, Say Anything is terrible!" I replied as I reached down and shoved the Black Parade DVD into the radio, turning up my favorite disk on full blast. Jean groaned with disgust as ' _Teenagers_ ' blared loud enough to shake. He covered his ears and I laughed until the song ended, leaving dry static for a few moments, long enough for Jean to speak. We were at a red light, so I turned to look at him.

"My turn." He said, playing ' _Judas Decapitation_ ' by Say Anything. I had to admit, the music sounded like something Jean would like.

We continued this battle until we found ourselves at a dead end, in front of Trost's lake. I parked the car and turned off the engine, letting the hot air roll into our space with the windows down. I turned to face Jean and grinned at him as his turn came and the lyrics of ' _Crush'd_ ' by Say Anything filled the silence.

I tried not to focus too hard on what the singer was saying mostly because it was so damn fitting.

_"I have a total crush on you, baby, if only I could let you know"_

The song ended and I stared at Jean, noticing how blank his expression was.

I finally decided that it was time to address something that was on my mind all day.

"Jean, why are you acting so distant..?" I asked, tentative with my tone. I didn't want to startle him, but I also didn't want him to be able to ignore me.

There was a long pause before Jean sighed and let go.

"I don't know, Marco. I don't know anymore and it's fucking killing me. I'm scared. I shouldn't be. I'm just.. I don't know who I am anymore." He ran his shaky digits through his messy hair and I tensed.

"Jean.." I tried not to sound like I was talking to a scared kid, so I tried again.

"Jean, listen, don't ever doubt yourself. Don't beat yourself over whatever is bugging you. You can tell me anything, you know. I won't judge you." Especially after you didn't judge me.

"I don't know if I can even tell myself it." Jean muttered as he stared out the front window. He didn't want to look at me.

"Can't you try it?" I offered the idea of attempting but really it was just to Jean. If he wanted to feel closure, he had to do it.

"Marco.." Jean sounded almost angry. Almost. He was more shakier than that.

"You don't have to." I quickly said, but I wanted him to know that it was best to.

"Marco, I-I'm scared. More scared than any of those nightmares. I'm scared of ruining something." What? Ruin what?

"You won't ruin anything, Jean. I promise that." I spoke softly, meaning exactly what I said. I wouldn't let Jean ruin anything.

"I'm not sure I believe you." Jean finally ripped his gaze from out the window to look at me with those wide, shaky, gorgeous eyes.

"Jean.." I began, taking in a sharp gulp of air.

"Jean, I told you something incredibly important to me last night and you didn't leave me for it. I won't leave you for whatever you say." I meant it.

"I'm jealous." Jean grunted with a frown tugging on the corners of his lips. He sounded bitter.

"What?" I asked, genuinely lost.

"I'm jealous..of whoever you like." Jean sounded colder then, like he was freezing himself off from me. I almost wanted to laugh.

"Jea--" I tried to say, but Jean interrupted.

"It's not fair, Marco! It's not fucking fair!" He stared at me and his digits curled into tight, white knuckle fists. I blinked.

"Jea--" He interrupted _again_. What was he trying to say?

"Why is he better than me? Why? Why can't it be me? Why do I want it to be me? What the fuck is wrong with me?" Water began to trickle down Jean's cheeks and down his chin, dripping onto the cloth seat covers. I reached forward, letting my thumb brush against his cheek slowly. He didn't pull away. I understood what he's feeling. I reacted the same way when I figured it all out, too.

"Jean, you're crying.." I stared into his shaky clouded eyes, searching for him.

"I'm so fucking jealous and I don't know why.. I don't know why I want to be him." He sounded so broken, his voice cracking with each word until all that's left is a whisper.

I couldn't let him think this anymore.

"You are." I searched for emotion on his face as the words left my lips, hoping he'd calm.

"What?" His voice came out in a shocked squeak then and I cupped his cheek fully with my palm.

"You're him." I smiled my warmest smile at Jean when I said it, letting the truth out into the muggy air of the truck.

"Marco..? What?" Jean's red eyes were wide as he leaned into my palm, accepting the delicate hold.

"Jean.. You really think I found someone better than you? Really? You're a stubborn asshole, Jean, but that just makes you who you are. You're also super freaking oblivious.." I let the last sentence trail off with a small giggle because it was true, I mean, I've liked him since we first saw each other.

Call me cliché, but when I saw him I knew I couldn't let him go.

"Marco, did you just? Did you?" Jean gulped, sounding as scared as he did excited.

"Yeah." I answered, my smile not fading one bit.

"Marco." Jean mumbled, letting my name sit on his tongue.

"Jean." I replied with my gaze falling to those lips that were inches from mine. I hadn't noticed it before, but I had moved closer.

"I.. Marco, uh.." Jean stumbled on his words, unable to make an actual sentence. I had to hold back my chuckle. He was so adorable.

"Yeah?" I hummed, my gaze lifting to his eyes. He seemed truthfully happy for the first time in a while.

My heart wouldn't stop hammering against my ribcage.

"I don't understand what's happening to me, Marco, but I'm so fucking happy right now and all I want is to kiss your stupid freckled face." Jean sighed, sounding peaceful. The tearfulness in his tone left and I grinned.

"Why don't you?" I asked, knowing what it'd do to him.

"Fuck you, Freckled Jesus." Jean growled, _growled_ , and I melted.

"Get over here, Horse." I patted my lap, earning a small whine from Jean about how hard it'd be to get over there (which it was, but that wasn't important) and he soon settled in my lap.

My hands found their place on his bony hips and his arms snaked around my neck, pulling me closer against him, and I let my lids fall as our lips tentatively met. They were just pecks at first, testing the waters between us, and then we began to drown in each other's touches. Jean deepened the kiss with a turn of his head slightly to the right, locking the touch in place. His lips were surprisingly smooth, and honestly, he wasn't bad at this.

All I could think, feel, taste, smell, and hear was Jean Kirschtein, and that's a pretty damn perfect thing.

Soon enough, we were out of breath and panting against each other. My hands hand found their way under Jean's thin cotton shirt, my hands pressing against the flat plains of his stomach, and Jean's digits were tangled in my messy dark hair. I stared into his eyes and began to laugh because I was so damn giddy and Jean followed until we were a giggly mess.

Here we were, making out in my truck in the middle of the day without a care in the world. We were sticky with sweat and we had been feverishly touching each other like we were freezing.

Maybe we were.

"Jean.." I sighed as he buried his face into my neck, feeling him take in strong sniffs of my scent.

"Marco.." Jean grunted against my neck and I let out a small whine at the sensitive nerves my skin had.

"You smell so much like cinnamon." He glanced up at me and I smiled at him with so much love.

"You're so beautiful, Jean." I said, and I felt his cheeks flush against my neck.

"Shutup." He mumbled and I laughed.

"So.. Are we together now..?" I finally asked after the question had been eating away at me.

I mean, could you blame me?

"Hell yeah." Jean immediately answered while he lifted his head to smile at me.

"You're mine, F.J, sorry." He leaned in to peck my lips and I chuckled when they met.

"Welcome to the Bodt Clan, Horse." I replied while I squeezed him close to my chest.

After about an hour of just embracing, Jean climbed off of me and over to the passenger seat. We took turns playing our music, equally enjoying the songs, and made stupid jokes on the way to the zoo.

When we arrived, Jean climbed out the truck and ran to my side. He opened the door and yanked himself up to press his lips slowly against mine and I leaned into the touch, indulging in the parting present. We were practically making out by the time I heard Sasha's squeals and Connie's 'He got some!' yells, and I was startled enough to yank back. I turned to see the terror twosome, each of them clapping and grinning from ear to ear.

"CONNIE, SASHA, GO AWAY." I bellowed, borrowing my dad's voice for a moment. They looked pretty shocked and scampered away, earning laughter from Jean and I.

"Don't mind them, Jean. They're just my friends." I explained, leaning down to press my lips to his nose.

"They look annoying." He muttered bitterly and I tried to imagine them getting along, which, surprisingly, I could.

"You'd like them. Come see me tomorrow?" I offered, wanting to introduce my boyfriend to my friends.

"You bet your freckled ass." Jean answered with a grin and he hopped off the side of the truck, walking to his pink Bugatti (I knew he wasn't straight), got in, and left.

I drove home with the biggest grin on my face.

By the time I was in my bedroom, I was already texting Reiner and Bert.

**To Reiner & Bert:**

Guess who has a boyfriend? :D

**From Reiner:**

U DID IT !!! TURNED 'EM GAY  
GOOD JOB BODT BOY

**From Bert:**

Congrats, Marco. You deserve someone who treats you right.

I laid my phone down by my side and closed my eyes for a few moments before I squealed, kicked my legs, and buried my face in my pillow to drown out my excited screams.

_I'm such a teenage girl._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that was so lame someone kill me
> 
> ALSO, READERS, I START SCHOOL ON TUESDAY.  
> So, I'll try my best to update once a week! I won't promise shit because homework kills  
> Please be patient with me. <3
> 
> also Reiner is a gay mama and no one can tell me otherwise


	6. Feeding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pink mice scream for a few seconds before the silence settles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> w o w oKAY IM SO SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED  
> school is intense  
> I just don't have the time  
> I'm trying my best please forgive me

You know when you call someone and you have to listen to that long, irritating ring for who knows how long until the person you're calling answers?

I hate that.

I especially hate that when I'm literally sitting on the edge of my seat (the red couch in the volunteer sign in room) and the person on the other line is Jean Kirschtein, my boyfriend _and_ best friend.

After the third time of going through this, I sighed and dropped my phone by my side. I had no idea why Jean wasn't answering and it was eating away at me, so much that I didn't feel like leaving the humid room that smelled like pelts and skulls. I kept going through stupid scenarios like Jean regretting us or getting caught up in a shooting or something like that and honestly, it sucked.

I don't know how long I sat there until I was snapped away from my stress-inducing thoughts by my phone vibrating next to my thigh. I instantly snatched it up and answered, anxious to hear Jean's voice. Just his voice. Anything to prove that he wasn't kidnapped by Mexicans going to Canada.

"Marco, sorry, my phone was on silent--" Jean's (beautifully) groggy voice cracked on the other line and I let out a small sigh of relief. He's not in Canada with Mexicans.

"It's fine! Are you ready to come?" I questioned, referring to the plans we made last night. Technically, this was our first date. At my work. I'm romantic.

"Yeah. I'll be headin' out the door soon. I'm making coffee now." Jean said as I could hear the coffee pot pour the precious life-saving liquids into a cup.

"Alright," I chirped, excited to see him, "everyone is here! They're really curious about you.."

Jean scuffed and I grinned at the noise. "Oh? Why? Whadidya tell them?"

"Just that you're super cool but you act like an ass for the first couple hours." I hummed out the reply causally and Jean muttered about how nice of me it was to make him sound like a douche. I reminded him that they think of anyone I befriend (not to mention date) is a good guy inside. They think it's impossible for me to hang out with bad beans.

"Well, be there in a few." Jean hung up and I got off the comfortable couch, ready to sign in and get to work. I clipped my name tag onto my left collar and fixed my shirt, trying to look as presentable as possible in bright red tied with khaki.

"Where's the boytoy?" Reiner stood in the doorframe of the volunteer room and I turned to him, confusion until I realized he meant Jean.

"Oh, Jean! He's on his way." I explained, trying my best to sounid as calm as I didn't feel. Jean was about to meet people extremely important to me. Would he like them? Would they like him? Will any of them fight?

So many things can go wrong..

But I won't focus on those. Instead, I'll focus on the good. I smiled at Reiner and he nodded with a wide grin on his face before he left to the Education Animal room.

Jean should be here by now, I thought, and I hurried down the halls to the side exit that led to the entrance of the zoo. I kept my eyes peeled for the ridiculously bright Barbie car and tried not to look as nervous as I felt. Guests were coming in and every family I saw I smiled at and greeted but I wasn't putting my all into it as usual. My attention was on my boyfriend.

I am going to say that so much.

Finally, I saw the infamous pink Bugatti and I bounced on my heels with the biggest smile on my face. He parked rather sloppily, taking up two spots, and practically threw himself out the door. In his right hand he clutched a mug of lukewarm coffee and the left was something..a flower.

A single rose, to be exact.

_Oh my god._

I blinked as he stumbled through the parking lot to me and when he arrived, he didn't say anything. He gulped and stared at me with those tawny eyes wide and full of anxiety as he shoved the rose forward, for me to take, I presumed.

"J-Jean.." I mumbled, reaching forward to take ahold the thornless stem. I clutched the rose like it was a delicate glass piece, not wanting to harm a petal on the beautiful head. I admired the vibrant rose for a few moments, staring at the small details on the tips of the petals, and let my smile grow wider. Jean Kirschtein is a dork.

"I-I, thanks. It's beautiful." I lifted my gaze to see Jean's cheeks matching the color of the flower and I stepped forward, carefully wrapping my arms around his neck. I didn't want to spill his coffee or harm the present.

"It's cheesy, I know, shut up, don't make fun of me." Jean whined into my shoulder and I let out a small chuckle.

"It's really great, Jean! I wish I got you something." I chimed, much to Jean's liking, and he released me with a small grin on his lips. He reached forward, taking the rose from my fingers, and gingerly placed it behind my right ear as a bright decoration in my dark hair.

"Better than I thought.." He mumbled more to himself than me, but I still leaned forward to peck his cheek anyway. There was no way I was going to remove the rose today.

"W-Well, lets go! Are you ready to smell strongly of various animals and their waste?" I stood on the tips of my toes as I smirked at my wonderful sum up of the Education Animal room. Jean's face scrunched up with disgust and he adjusted his infamous red beanie so he wouldn't freak out.

"Ew. Ew, okay, that's gross. I guess. Your friends aren't animal freaks, right?" Jean stared at me with desperation in his eyes and I snorted. Sasha and Connie were the worst amongst the volunteers, I guess, but Hanji was the biggest " _freak_ " of us all. They're a pretty scary person.

"Mm.. We're not all crazy. Now, c'mon, they're expecting us." I timidly reached down to grasp his bony hand, lacing our digits together. His palm was sweaty and I felt him squeeze mine like he was nervous. I felt like I was introducing him to my family.

I led Jean through the back way to the volunteer only entrance door, dragging him into the air conditioned halls. I felt my heart in my throat as we approached the heavy Education Animal door and I opened it, stepping into the middle room where literally everyone was. They stared at us expectantly and I choked up.

"Whoa. Lots of you guys." Jean mumbled, staring at the shitton of red and khaki. By everyone, I meant Connie, Sasha, Reiner, Bert, Mikasa, Eren, Armin, Annie, Marlo, Hitch, Christa, Ymir, Thomas, and Mina were in there, all scrunched up like canned anchovies. Some of them laughed at Jean's expense, finding his shock amusing.

"U-Uh, well, this is everyone, Jean.. Literally everyone. All of the volunteers. Guys, why are you all here?" I blinked and I noticed a few of them had bags on their backs to do Wanderings in the zoo. I guess they all were waiting for Jean.

"We wanted to say hi!" Sasha enthusiastically sang, spawning the hums of agreement amongst the crowd. They all quickly said hello to Jean, whom was looking a little overwhelmed and pale, and the volunteers I barely worked with left. After a couple minutes, it was just Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Sasha, Connie, Reiner, Bert, Annie, Ymir, and Christa. They all introduced themselves to Jean.

"I'm Eren," Eren said as he eyed Jean down and I worried about them not getting along. That face Eren had wasn't very..nice.

"This is Mikasa," Eren continued, and Mikasa hummed a small hello before she switched her attention back to Eren, "And this is Armin." Armin waved, smiling warmly, and I sighed slightly. They would get along, right?

"I've seen you guys around school." Jean muttered as he eyed the trio down. School was in two weeks, actually. I guess Jean went to mine? What grade even is he? I thought, confused, but my attention fell on Reiner, Bert, and Annie.

"I'm Reiner," Reiner grinned cheekily at Jean and gestured to Bert. "This sweaty guy here is Bertholdt. You can call him Bert, though. The mean looking blonde is Annie," he said after pointing to her flat lips.

Jean seemed pretty intimidated by Reiner and Annie and more pitiful of Bert.

"Those losers aren't all that great with turtles like your freckled angel, Horseface. Just saying. I don't know how _you_ got him." Ymir chirped in and I could feel the heat of Jean's angry stare from by his side. He hated being called that by anyone but me. I could see them not getting along because Ymir was one cocky girl. She had no filter, Christa said, and she would say whatever she wanted. I frantically looked at Chirsta for help and the little blonde nodded to my desperation.

"I'm Christa! Don't mind Ymir, Jean, she doesn't know what she says." Her big blue eyes locked on Jean's tawny ones and she smiled sweetly at him. Jean kinda blushed then, his cheeks igniting into a warmth, and I knew why; Christa was the true angel of our group that somehow has control over Ymir. They're dating, actually.

"I sure as hell do, Historia." Ymir grumbled out her pet name for Christa and Christa whined next to her about her calling her that name in public. I didn't want to know where else it was said, really. They were cute, but Ymir was really..possessive? She wanted the best for Christa.

"I'm Sasha!" Sasha grinned with chocolate on her white teeth since she had just eaten a chocolate chip cookie. Connie poked her side to let her know about it, but she just scowled at him and took another large bite of a cookie. No one gets between food and her, ever.

"I'm Connie, Sasha's tamer." Connie patted Sasha's head and the girl literally growled, much to Jean's amusement. He had to stifle a small snort at how stupid they are. Yeah, these guys are my friends. Yup. He probably didn't feel bad about them seeing us making out anymore.

"U-Uh, hi. I'm Jean Kirschtein and I'm Marco's..boyfriend. Wow, okay, I've never introduced myself like that. Uh. Yeah, I'm his boyfriend." He seemed pretty flustered and a couple of the others laughed at his expense. I didn't blame him, I mean, it's weird for me to. I just smiled and leaned forward to kiss his temple. His face basically exploded then.

"Smart guy you got there, Marco." Ymir chided much to Christa's displeasure and I just shrugged, grinning because I knew how much of a dweeb Jean was acting.

"Well! I'm gonna show Jean the animals. You guys can do whatever." I scurried into the mammal room with Jean following behind, excited to see my precious babies. I could hear the rustling and see their little faces peeking through the bars of their cages as they saw my red shirt. The ferrets were tumbling down their staircase to get to the doors, expecting to be played with.

"Shut the door, Jean." I turned to him with a smile. "It isn't as important as the reptile door being shut, but I don't want Sugar running out. She's a pain to catch." I was referring to the white ferret that was eyeing me down and I chuckled, finding her adorable. Jean nodded and shut the door, careful as to not slam it.

"It kinda smells in here a lot." Jean grunted as I opened the ferret cage, reaching in to wrap my digits carefully around the almost snake-like torso of Sugar. She squirmed in my hold and licked my hand, excited. I plopped down and patted my side for Jean to sit next to me as I placed Sugar in my lap.

Jean sat beside me and looked at the reasonably stinky (man, ferrets smell, okay?) animal that crawled around my thighs and flinched when it leaned over to sniff him.

"Yeah, it does smell, doesn't it? I'm used to it. Sorry about that, I mean, there are animals in here. H-Hey, Sugar, careful!" I squeaked as Sugar's feet pressed down on my crotch, applying painful pressure, and adjusted her frame to get off. Jean laughed and reached down to touch Sugar's head, albeit nervously, because she opened her maw and flashed her sharp teeth to him.

"She doesn't bite, don't worry. The worst thing she's ever done was piss on some volunteer." I said as I lifted Sugar up, placing her on Jean's lap. He squirmed, uncomfortable with the little paws scrambling on him, and I laughed.

"Marco!" He cried, looking at me frantically. "Take her off! What the fuck? It's like a dog! Get it off!"

"Baby." I grinned as I plucked Sugar off and stood, carrying the little nerd to her cage where her roommate, Peaches, waited. Peaches stared at me and nudged the cage for me to take her out, which I did because that was incredibly adorable.

"C'mere, you little dork." I murmured to Peaches as I circled my digits around her brown torso, pulling her out the cage. Unlike Sugar, Peaches was calm and relaxed in my hold. I rubbed the top of her head and handed her to a shaky Jean.

He held the ferret away from him, staring at it with wide, fearful eyes, and I smiled.

"Jean, animals feel safer against your chest. Don't hold her out like that." I came to his side and gently pushed his arms against to his chest so that Peaches could press against his shirt, enough to soothe the little cutie, and Jean blinked owlishly.

"She's really warm." He mumbled, staring down at her tiny face. I reached down to pet her back and I heard a knock on the door, which startled Jean.

"Guys, you can just come in." I called, not knowing who was behind the door. I gently took Peaches from Jean and placed her back into the cage before I moved to Cookies, one of our two baby opossums, cage. She eagerly paced in front of the bars.

The door swung open roughly with the terrorsome two sauntering in, or waddling, because Sasha had a huge starback tortoise in her hands.

"We didn't want to walk in on you guys macking it again!" She joked, smiling widely at Jean and I. Connie nodded in agreement and Jean scuffed.

"We weren't expecting to be spied on by anyone, you know." He said, eyeing them down. I reached forward to touch Jean's shoulder and stared at the both of them.

"Sorry, but two guys making out hardcore in a parking lot is pretty easy to see. Anyway, it was Marco! We got all proud, like parents." Connie grinned with a small shrug to his shoulders and Sasha nodded with a cheesier smile. She turned to Connie, careful of the tortoise's head, and hummed, " _Honey_ , he's grown up so fast. Already got himself a boyfriend." Connie choked at the sudden petname and shoved Sasha out the patio door, leaving Jean and Marco alone again.

"They're crazy," Jean said, wide eyed as he stared at the heavy door that locked the two out, "They're crazy and they trust them with animals? Why hasn't anyone died?"

I snorted and shrugged with a small smirk on my face, which made Jean shiver. I turned to Cookie's cage and struggled with the door, trying to get it open without startling the tiny little kid that reached out to touch my hand. I finally got it open with a snap and swung the huge door aside, leaving the entire cage opening wide. I reached in and let Cookies sniff my hand before I tentatively wrapped my hand around her tiny, wiggling torso.

She opened her maw and licked my hand, which made me squeak and Jean laugh, but what Jean didn't know was that this little cutie bit the fuck out of you sometimes. It kinda sucked, but her little, little feet make up for it, so. I adjusted her so she wouldn't sink her sharp teeth into the side of my hand and glanced up at Jean. She flashed her teeth at him, which made him flinch, and I realized that he was kinda horrified of animals that could hurt.

Basically every animal in the zoo.

I was going to change that. If he's gonna be my boyfriend, he was gonna have to like animals. Only requirement I had. I mean, I loved them.

"Jean," I soothed, being sure to have a smile on my face, "She isn't mean. C'mon, sit down again, I'll let her crawl on our legs."

"Marrrrcooo." Jean whined with a grimace as he sat down. He stared at me, or glared, and I just grinned as I placed Cookies down on our touching thighs.

She sniffed us throughly, decided if we were worth eating, and chose not to. She waddled across Jean and I and despite himself, Jean was grinning a bit. Cookies was like a little cat and no one could deny that.

"She's really warm for being such a small thing." Jean mumbled as he poked her side and she crawled away from him. I chuckled and scooped up the little girl from Jean's lap to put her away.

"Okay, well, there's a lot more in here but do you wanna go to the reptile room? It's about time to feed them all and it's pretty cool to watch."

"Sure." Jean replied and I opened the door for him to walk out and I followed behind, trying my best not to stare at the way his shoulder blades would stand out against his shirt, but I couldn't help myself and I leaned forward to press a small kiss to the back of his neck.

I felt Jean tense up and his skin burn and I laughed loudly, wrapping my arms around my stomach to hold in my guts as I felt my stomach get sore.

"Marco!" Jean cried, turning around to face me. He looked absolutely adorable with the way his eyebrows were high and his cheeks were. "You're literally a tomato! I'm dating a tomato!" I grinned before I have reached forward to cup his cheek. I almost wanted him to be disgusted because I had just touched multiple animals and now I was touching his face, but he wasn't and instead I just stared into his eyes.

My life is one cheesy 80s romance movie, shut up, I know.

Jean's hands fell onto my waist and he leaned forward, close enough for me to fell his hot breath on my lips but not enough for them to touch, and I realized he was waiting for me to close the distance.

And I did.

You're probably wondering if its okay for me to be kissing my boyfriend at my work with my coworkers in the room next to us, probably watching, but I didn't really care all that much. Instead, I tilted my head to deepen the buss enough to make Jean breathe in sharply through his nose.

The hands around my waist beside to stroke my sides and I felt shivers travel up my spine. After a few more moments, I let my hand fall from his face and I stepped back, dopeily grinning at him.

"Shit, Marco.." Jean mumbled as his gaze flew from my eyes to my lips, over and over, and I laughed a little. Jean always looked happy when I did.

"I hate to be a party pooper, but we should probably wash our hands and get to the reptile room." I heard Connie and Sasha come back into the mammal room and I quickly dragged Jean out of the way, to the sink where he'd start to scrub as Connie and Sasha came storming into the midsection room, with a tortoise in Connie's hands and beef jerky in Sasha's.

"Marco!" Chirped Sasha as pieces of beef jerky flung out her mouth, "How does Jean handle the critters?"

Jean dried off his hands and I stepped forward to replace his spot as he stood beside me. I faced Sasha, smiling, and proudly spoke.

"He's actually making friends with a few! Much better than expected."

"Freckles, you didn't think I'd do good?" Jean asked as he poked my side roughly. I giggled, squirming at the touch, and dried off my hands. Connie muttered something about honeymoons and phases and Sasha scolded him, exclaiming that young love was important. They're a strange couple. They left to the reptile room.

"Jean, you told me when we first met that you hated the zoo. Seriously, did you think I would think you're Ghandi with animals?" I chided as I opened the reptile room.

Everyone was in a huddle behind Rory's (huge ass boa, longer than Bertholdt) and when they saw it was Jean and I, they frantically disbanded. Not alarming at all.

"Uh, guys?" I questioned but Armin spoke before I could get any answers.

"It's about time to feed everyone." The blond said, earning nods amongst the rest of us. He turned to Eren, smiling at the brunette, and spoke to him (and Mikasa).

"Can you go get the rats and pink mice from the commissary? You love doing that." Armin requested. Sometimes I forget how scary he could be, I mean, he knew how to use that mind of his to manipulate people. Armin hated getting the live food so he made someone else do it. No one said no to him.

"Fiine." Eren grumbled as he left the room with Mikasa trailing behind to fetch the meals for the day. Jean stared at us, trying to process what Armin said, and gulped.

"Rats..? Pink mice? Aren't pink mice just infant mice? Why do you guys need those?" Jean tensed and stared at us like we were demons.

"To feed them to our animals, of course." Ymir bluntly said, earning a small whine from Christa. Connie muttered something to Sasha and she giggled. I didn't want to know.

"What?! You feed babies to your animals?! Marco, that's sick." He turned to me, frowning heavily. I furrowed my brows and shook my head.

"They gotta eat, Jean.." I said, hoping he'd understand.

"They don't gotta eat baby mice!" Jean cried almost obnoxiously.

"Jean, don't worry, they're bred to be eaten anyway. Marco makes us give them a moment of silence before we let them get eaten." Reiner spoke up, his rough tone making Jean snap his neck to pay attention. He sighed, struggling to understand us.

"A moment of silence..?" He mumbled, wondering if that was enough for the life of a baby. I nodded my head and Jean let out a long groan.

"Fine, I guess it's okay."

"Good boy!" Reiner clapped and Bertholdt scolded him quietly.

Eren and Mikasa trotted back into the mammal room, rats and pink mice in hand, and smiled at us. Well, Eren toothily grinned and Mikasa's lips stayed flat. Close enough.

"Ready?" Mikasa asked us and there was an eager response from everyone but Jean.

"Don't forget the moment of silence." Jean muttered, and without question the rest of us bowed our heads. I stared at Jean's undercut, at how short the darker hair is, and let a small smile tug on my lips before I lowered my head in a silent show of respect to the animals that will lose their lives.

After a few long moments, Jean rose his head back up and muttered that we can do our jobs now. I was getting pretty worried that he wouldn't want to see this.

I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around his back, pressing my broader frame against his thin back.

"Jean, you can wait outside if you want." I mumbled into his ear, trying to soothe him with the words. Surprisingly, Jean didn't agree, and turned to me.

"Marco, if I'm gonna be with you, I gotta see all what your job does, right? Isn't this important to you?" His tawny eyes locked on mine and I silently nodded.

"Eren, pass me a pick mice? I wanna feed the turtles." Jean looked baffled by the fact that I was participating in this fully.

Eren passed me a few of the squirming baby mice and I held onto their tiny bodies carefully, not wanting to harm it before it lets go, and walked towards the plastic boxes that held our Ornate Box turtles. I kneeled down, staring at Speedy (I know it's him because of the patch on his back) and I placed the infant mouse on his glass tray.

It wiggled around and flopped over, desperate to get away, but it's eyes were not open and it's senses barely worked. Speedy, however, saw the little guy and ran right over. He opened his sharp mouth and clamped down on the mouse, making it squeak loudly.

I turned away when I saw the first drop of blood leave the pink skin.

To see Jean, right behind me, watching. His eyes were wide and he gulped with his Adam's Apple bobbed rapidly. The mouse stopped its screams.

"That was..intense." Jean mumbled into my ear. In the background, I could hear more squealing that signaled death and laughter from Sasha and Connie. They always found this kinda amusing, I guess. After a while, you get used to the death and it doesn't mean anything. We all got used to it a year or two ago. I don't know if that's a good thing, but at least we don't breakdown every time sobbing, you know? Death happens. It's okay.

A couple more seconds passed and the feeding mostly was done. The snakes continued to swallow their large rats and the turtles just munched on the little leftovers in their mouths. Blood was left on their jaws and I didn't mind seeing it.

I coiled my arms around Jean's neck and pulled him close, letting his stiffened, gangly physique press against my animal-scented attire. I rested my chin atop his cranium, knowing well that the touch would help Jean out. He gripped my waist tightly and I'm sure they'll bruise tomorrow from his rough fingers. I loved him, so I didn't want him worrying over stuff like this. It's small. It isn't that big of a deal. They were born to die, like us, but they had to leave sooner. It's alright.

"It was quick. Don't worry, Jean, they felt no pain." We both knew we were lying by Jean's grunt, but he didn't question me. I was thankful for that.

"Awww, you two!" Sasha squealed as she turned to see Jean and I clinging to each other. In fact, everyone was watching us now. My freckles were probably drowning in red now, but I wasn't going to let him go.

Not until he was okay.

"G-Guys.." I whined, peeking over to see them. They all had the biggest smiles on their faces, and Ymir had a snarky grin, much to Christa's disliking.

"Freckles, can your Horse not handle some dead mice?" Ymir inquired, her grin only growing more wolfish.

"Ymir!" Christa yelled with a frown settling on her delicate lips. She jabbed Ymir's side, albeit playfully, to get the lanky freckled girl to stop.

"I'm not a horse." Jean hissed with his arms falling from my sides. Ymir took a few strides forward, quickly approaching Jean, and looked him in the eye as she snarled. "You aren't, huh? You're in fucking denial."

I stared at the two of them, baffled, and looked at the short blonde for help.

"Guys, calm down!" Christa and I spoke as confidentially as we could, which meant my Dad's voice rang throughout the small space. Jean snapped back to look at me, as did everyone else, and I could see Annie's lip twitch into a small smirk.

"Lets," I breathed in sharply. "Not fight, guys. Please? Ymir, I get that you're trying to play around, but Jean takes literally everything seriously. Why else would he be an arrogant ass?" I tried not to sound as helpless as I felt.

"Alright, Freckles, calm down." Ymir flashed her grin to me and I sheepishly rubbed the back of my neck.

"Sorry, sorry." I muttered, trying to ignore the heat of Jean's obvious stare.

"Oooooh," Reiner hummed as he stared down at his cell phone's screen, "We're all off shift soon. It's 5:30. We should all go out to dinner, yeah? Marco, can we hit up your bakery for some bread and stuff?"

"Sure, I mean, we got some specialty breads.. You guys are seriously okay with just coffee and bread?" I questioned, quirking up a brow. It didn't sound particularly great.

"Anything your family bakes is good!" Sasha chimed in with flushed cheeks and drool dripping down her chin. She came in often for our double fudge chocolate cakes, the entire things, and always had that face when ordering. Lukas calls her Food Porn Girl. Connie placed his hand on her shoulder as if to put a leash on her.

"That okay with the rest of you?" I asked, glancing at Ymir, Christa, Bert, Eren, Armin, Mikasa, and Annie. They all nodded, with smiles from most, and I shrugged.

"Alright, let's get signed out. Jean, wait for us out front?" I turned to him, smiling warmly, and he nodded before he leaned forward to press his soft lips against my temple. My smile only grew and I scurried out the door with the rest of the volunteers.

We all took a couple minute signing out and taking off our name tags, but we finished up and dropped by the office to say goodbye to Hanji, Levi, and Erwin. Hanji waved enthusiastically, Levi nodded, and Erwin looked like he was about to salute us off. Rumor has it, he's an ex-commander from the military. No one questions him.

"Let's go." Eren said as his stomach screamed for food, hissing and growling obnoxiously. He self-consciously wrapped his arms around his abdomen, trying to shush the titan-like roars inside him, and blushed when Armin commented on it. Mikasa even scolded him for not eating right enough. They were a fun group, you know?

We all left through the back door like a herd and I ran up to Jean, whom was sitting on one of our stone benches, only to grab his arm and gently pull him up. I leaned forward and brushed my lips faintly against his, ghosting a buss merely because my friends were probably watching us, and he smiled.

"Marco.." He mumbled, and I happily shushed him before I turned to everyone.

"Meet you all there?"

There was a collective "yeah!" and a moan of happiness that belonged to Sasha.

I turned to Jean and hummed, pondering on what to do with our two car situation. Logically, we should drive our own cars but I wanted some alone time with him, even if it was only for a few moments..

"Jean, you staying over tonight?" I glanced up at him, meaning innocence with the question (Ymir hollered something about hearing and Christa shushed her) but Jean's face lit up anyways. The blush ghosted across his sharp features and I found it absolutely gorgeous.

"U-Uh, will your parents be okay with that?" His tone wavered.

"I, uh, they don't know." I sheepishly answered, reaching up to brush my nose, and got a small smile from Jean. Shaky, but real.

"O-Okay, I can. It's fine. Get in my car."

I didn't protest and we walked to his bright ass vehicle, hand-in-hand, until we had to separate to get to our sides of the vehicle.

I climbed in, careful of where I put my feet, and turned to smile cheekily at Jean.

He buckled himself in and glanced over at me only to do a double-take at my expression.

"Hah? You look like you're up to so--"

I'm guessing he was gonna say "something", but I didn't feel like listening to such a long word leave his lips. Instead, I pushed myself forward to lock mine with his. Jean was startled for a few long, annoying seconds, but he soon relaxed into the touch and cupped my cheek. His thumb stroked the side of my jaw and I shivered, using that as motivation to deepen the kiss on his soft lips. His breath leaving his nose flickered against me in warm gusts, which wasn't ever unpleasant.

I honestly don't know how long we sat like that until I pulled back, greedily gulping air to satisfy my aching lungs.

"Damn, Marco." Jean purred with his teeth wolfishly showing. I just laughed a little, happy as heck, and Jean peppered my cheeks with kisses before he pulled back.

"I love you." I said, meaning it.

"I love you too." His voice was soft as we pulled out the parking spot and left to my bakery.

We arrived pretty late, finding that everyone was already eating (Sasha had the usual: an entire cake. I hoped Connie ate some.) and they whistled as we passed by.

I told them to hush up and Jean laughed.

I turned to smile at Lukas but before I could even speak, I heard it.

The cry of my little sister.

"Marrrrccoooo!" Lore screeched as she tossed her mini-apron aside. She flung herself at me and I caught her, holding her close, laughing all the while.

"Hi!" I said, grinning down at her.

"Hey! I missed you! How was work?" Lore questioned with her big eyes shining bright.

"Fun! Jean got to see our lil' guys." I said, nodding to Jean. He mouthed something to me, along the lines of " _lollipop kiss_ ", but I blinked and mouthed back that I didn't understand.

"Jean? Your boyfriend!" Lore moved from me to Jean. The both of us froze, unable to know what to do. Denying it would seem cold to each other, but Lore has a big mouth.. I didn't know what to do.

So, Jean saved me.

"Hey there, princess." Jean bowed to Lore and I saw her heart melt.

"Princess? I'm a princess?" She excitedly asked, wanting to know the truth. Her goal in life was to be one. Dork.

"Of course!" Jean clapped his hands on his sides as he sent her one of her lopsided grins. Lore just squeaked and ran back into the kitchen. Probably to gossip.

"That was great, Jean." I praised with a relieved sigh trailing behind my words.

"I don know how to handle them." Jean admitted carefully. I took note of that.

"She's real easy. Now, lets get food."

I ordered us a simple meal: cookies and coffee. Jean had no complaints. Is it even a meal? Close enough.

I said goodbye to Lukas and sat down with the rest of my friends.

"Your little sister is adorable." Sasha said with chocolate all over her chin. Connie cleaned it off as much as he could, but it was like it was apart of her now.

"She really is." Armin agreed with a smile, earning nods along the table. I let out a small chuckle and leaned forward, pretending to whisper to them all but was sure to be painfully obvious, "Jean called her princess to get on her good side and it worked."

Jean got highfives from Reiner and Bert.

Time passed and all the bread, cakes, cookies, and whatever else the group ordered was consumed. We laid back with our hands on our stomachs, groaning from fullness until Connie finally chirped, "Wanna go to my place to have a party? It's been a couple weeks and school is soon!"

"But we're so full.." Jean and Eren whined, much to my amusement, and I leaned over to rest my head on my boyfriend's bony shoulder.

"Just drink slowly! I got all the cheap beer we need. C'mon guys, don't be lame."

"Yeah, guys!" Sasha butted in and I wondered how she'll fit cheap beer in with all that cake. She was a black hole.

"Some bad beer sounds pretty good." Ymir agreed, which meant Christa was joining in too. They came as a pair always.

"If Eren and Armin go, I'll go." Mikasa nodded her head to her two baby birds. They always came to parties, so Mikasa always tagged along to control them.

"Annie, Bert, and I will go." Reiner hadn't asked them if they wanted to because, just like Armin, Eren, and Mikasa, they were rarely apart.

It was our turn.

"Jean, you wanna go?" I looked at him, wanting to let him know that he could back out whenever he wanted.

"Sure."

"Than its settled!" Connie cried proudly. "We're having a party!"

I won't forget it. The rose stayed tucked behind my ear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was literal shit I may edit it a little im not sure  
> s o r r y


	7. Drunken Cries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remembering but not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BEFORE YOU ALL GATHER UP TO KILL ME, I HAVE A GOOD REASON FOR NOT UPDATING  
> my personal life is hectic, and I'm being social for once oh my god, and my crush is so gorgeous and she's aHH, 
> 
> BUT THATS NOT THE REASON OKAY  
> My nexus, the device I use to update this with, has stopped charging. The parts to fix it will be here in two weeks. I'll be uploading from my iPod and editing until then, which takes longer. I'm sorry. 
> 
> OKAY ALSO THIS CHAPTER IS SHORTER BECAUSE ITS MARCO'S POV, BUT JEAN'S WILL BE HELLA LONG.
> 
> ENJOY THIS TRASH

We were at Connie's for a good hour, all huddled up in his living room, talking about trivial things that wouldn't matter tomorrow; clutching a can of beer in our hands. I hadn't touched mine, in fear of the shitty taste that Connie somehow always guaranteed, but Jean had already finished one and one half, with the empty cans laying by his side. He wasn't affected that much and said the beer was pretty watery.

Ymir cackled at a joke Reiner made that was mildly inappropriate, much to Bertl's and Christa's distaste, and Jean grinned over at me just to.

His hand that wasn't holding his second (or third, now. I have no idea) beer grabbed my hand and laced our fingers messily together. I smiled, squeezing his palm, and he leaned more beside me.

None of this went unnoticed, though.

"Awwwww! Jean is a clingy drunk." Sasha chirped after she gulped down probably her forth beer, her words slurred and slowly spoken. She leaned forward into the little beer temple Connie built when he was sober and grabbed a fresh, warmish can, to throw at Jean. His reflexes were slower than usual, but he manage to catch the can in time.

"Thanks. And fuck you, I'm not clingy!" Jean snarled as he snapped open the can. Eren snorted in a way to disagree, causing for Jean to curse under his breath, and I just smiled a little.

"Jean, you kinda are. I like it, though." I hummed as I leaned against his slumping form, nuzzling against his shoulder just to fluster him up, and fluster him it did. His entire face caught on fire and I fell back with giggles roaring out of me. Ymir leaned forward and high fived me.

"Freckles, drink up. You haven't even taken a damn sip." Reiner said with a small gesture to the can that was forgotten in my hand. I glanced at it, mildly disgusted, and brought the warm liquids to my lips. I gulped it down with my eyes squinted and my brows creased, horrified by the harsh bile taste that stung my tongue.

"Oh, god," I choked, pulling the can away and holding it out in front of me like it was some hell demon. "It's like vomit." I whined. Jean snickered and I pouted.

"Tastes fine!" Connie cried, offended by my view on his shitty beer. He shoved a chill can my way, smiling cheekily, and nodded for me to open it.

"Colder is always better." Connie explained happily. I opened the can, hesitant, and brought the cold metal to my lips again to take in another bile tasting gulp of hell. He was right, kinda, but I still twisted my expression and hissed.

"Marco, you're such a lame twat. Lets play a drinking game!" Ymir wolfishly grinned at me and I turned to Jean, blinking, and he smiled his lazy smile. He wasn't that drunk, just buzzed enough to be all over me without a care that my friends were watching. He wrapped his arm around my waist and tugged me close with his proud smirk.

"Marco rocks at drinking games!"

My name is Marco Bodt and I only drink alcohol at my zoo coworker's houses over summer, and even then I don't consume that much, nor have I ever participated in one of their "games".

"What?" I shrieked, wide eyed, "I've never played them!"

"Shh, you're great, Bodty, I can tell." Jean "whispered" into my ear, which was more like a badly hushed growl, and Eren fell back with cackles. Armin just gave me that small, "I'm sorry", smile. I sighed, defeated.

"Fine. We can play." There were cheers all around and even Annie smiled a bit, I think. Or maybe she was smiling at something Bertl said?

"Totally should play spin the bottle first." Sasha grinned as she reached behind her, grabbing one of the only bottled beers, and tossed it to Connie for him to consume in an inhumanly short amount of time. His Adam's apple bobbed as the intoxicating liquids flowed down his throat. I cringed. It was almost as shitty as the regular beer, but incased in glass this time.

Ymir muttered that spin the bottle wasn't exactly a drinking game, but was up for it, shockingly.

Connie popped the bottle off his lips and leaned forward, smacking down his tower of beer to make way. He shoved the huge cases aside, on the edges if the circle, and placed the bottle in the center of the rug. I stared at it, knowing what this game was going to be like, and shivered.

It was like I had to be drunk to do this.

I took a greedy gulp of my old beer and glanced nervously from Jean to everyone else.

"Who's starting?" I asked, albeit quietly, and Reiner grinned _that_ grin. No.

"Bodt boy volunteered as tribute!" The huge guy cried, his fingers up in a mock gesture of that one movie, "The Hunger Games", and all eyes fell on me. Most were pitiful. Jean nudged my arm for me to grab the bottle.

"Why did I ever agree to this." I muttered as I reached forward, grabbing the bottle to spin it on the carpet. My heart raced as the neck passed all the people I wouldn't, y'know, _mind_ , but it kept spinning and finally stopped on..

Bertholdt.

I glanced feverishly at Jean, looking for any sort of reaction, and he just shoved me forward into the open space in the circle.

"Reinerrr.." I whined, glancing up at the muscled guy, but he just flashed me a wider smile and I sighed. Both of our boyfriends didn't care, I guess. It wasn't like I minded kissing Bertholdt, it was just that I was nervous. And uh, he and I barely talked. Okay, this was weird. Really weird.

Bertholdt shimmied into the center to meet me and I stared at him, trying to figure out what I should do with the situation, or who should make the first move. He had his long arms up to toy his short hair, running his fingers through the strands until I finally breathed out, deciding to do it.

I leaned in, giving him space to yank back, which he didn't, and kissed him. It was ridiculously quick, a literal peck, and we both pulled back with our cheeks burning. Bertholdt looked like he was sweating buckets. I mean, more than usual. It wasn't bad.

"U-Uh," he muttered, looking anywhere but me, and I nodded. We silently agreed not to speak of this ever again. Reiner and Jean, however, were roaring with pride. Jean clapped his hand on my shoulder and yanked me back into his arms and Reiner basically did the same to Bertholdt, although Bert made himself into a tight ball with his bony knees pressed to his flat chest, with Reiner's arms resting on his. Reiner kissed his neck to reassure him, and Jean kissed the back of mine. His hold was tight.

I shivered and relaxed into him while glancing down at the ugly rug we sat on. I heard a few giggles and snide remarks about how shy Bertl and I are, but I didn't care, I mean, that was incredibly awkward, okay? It was someone else's turn now. Mikasa.

She spun the bottle and it landed on Annie and the two kissed like it didn't matter, until they both pulled back, slightly blushed. I wondered what that was about. Next was Connie.

He spun, landed on Reiner, looking horrified when he realize that, and Reiner quickly scooped the bald kid into a rough, clingy, messy kiss. Bertl sat beside, watching with wide eyes. He was holding back a laugh, I could tell. I giggled a little when Reiner let go of a stiffened Connie. He crawled back to Sasha as Ymir whistled and high fived Reiner.

Christa and Armin kissed, and Ymir and Sasha came next. Seeing them all making out was kinda horrifying, but I probably won't remember it tomorrow. I took another sip of my now lukewarm beer. It stung my throat.

The game kept going until it was Jean's turn.

"Oh." He sat up to attention and gently lifted me off his lap, having me sit beside him, and I watched as he moved forward.

"Good luck." I said, smiling, because there's like two people here that Jean would rather murder than _kiss_ , and if he landed on them, that would be hilarious. I mean, he'd probably run away, but I wouldn't let him.

He spun the bottle and watched anxiously as it passed everyone he wouldn't mind. He was holding his breath and he shut his eyes as the bottle slowed until it landed on _him_. Him, whom made Jean's lips turn down in disgust, Eren Jaeger.

I doubled over laughing.

"Fuck that!" Jean screamed in unison with Eren, the both of them scrambling away from each other. I kept cackling as I grabbed Jean's wrist, holding onto it for dear life to roughly yank him back down. His small body fell with the tug and he pouted at me, knowing well what I was doing.

"Kiss him, Jean." I smiled and Jean cursed. Armin, it turns out, was doing the same to Eren when I glanced over. We both shoved our angsty lovers into the circle and patted their backs.

About a minute of pure silence went by, the both of them horrified and refusing to look at each other. I don't know why, but Jean hated Eren despite knowing him for less than 24 hours. I felt like I should question him about it, but I didn't.

"Do it!" Ymir yelled, shoving Eren forward. Jean chewed his lip and it finally happened: They both leaned in, equally tense, and pecked each other's lips in the fastest motion ever. They jumped back from each other and gagged.

Jean fell down at my side, shaking, and I smiled.

"It wasn't that bad, right?" I asked, and Jean groaned. I felt his hand grab the back of my neck and he forced me into a sloppy, shitty beer tasting kiss, and I accepted it lazily.

"'Uck. Brush your teeth tonight." I mumbled when we pulled back, and Jean slobbered all over my face with kisses just to irritate me, I guess. I grinned instead. Dork.

A couple more hours passed and about 4 beers have made their way into my system, settling happily inside me. My head was a bit blurry and my senses weak, but that's normal, right? I don't handle alcohol well, Connie said. Jean was slumped against my side and I was leaning back against Connie's couch with my eyes shut, trying to ignore the loud laughter ringing in my ears. I wanted to focus on Jean's heavy-with-beer frame against mine.

"Marrrcoooo." Sasha whined, obviously close to me, and I opened my eyes to see her only about a couple inches away from my face. I winced at her breath.

"What?" I grumbled, staring at her, or trying to. It was hard. Oh, god, the hangover I'll have..

"We need to play Have I--"

I interrupted her not to be rude, but I felt a burning sensation rise up in my throat, so I shoved her out the way and scrambled to my seat. Everything was moving and I could hear Jean asking what was wrong, but I needed to get out the door, like, _NOW_.

I kept shoving everyone by as I ran (I think I ran?) to the front door and struggled to open it. The horrid taste was filling my mouth, threatening to spill out past my lips, and the second I swung open the screen door, I hurled into Connie's lawn.

Over and over.

My body was wracked with the forces in which the disgusting beer spilled out of me and I felt someone's hands, probably Jean's, rubbing my back.

"Fuck," I sobbed, coughing up the leftover bits in my throat. I shuddered, covered in cold sweat, and turned to look at Jean. He was frowning heavily, from disgust or worry, I'm not sure, and he wrapped his arms around me. I felt pretty dead then.

"I'm sorry.." I mumbled, ignoring my the film on my tongue, and Jean shook his head.

"It's cool, Freckles. Shoulda known you couldn't hold it all in." He reached his sleeve up to brush against my lips, getting rid of the stray vomit, and I smiled weakly.

"I'd kiss you right now." I said, puckering up my lips, and Jean twisted away hurriedly.

"No! No, no man, no. Please, babe, no." He held his hands out in front of him defensively with his amber eyes wider than plates. I laughed, the noise coming out hoarse, and kissed his cheek instead. He still pulled back.

"Lets get inside.."

"No, wait. Lets not." Jean said, surprising me, and I looked over to where he was staring. The forest near Connie's was huge, the trees towering like sky scrapers, and I always thought it was kinda pretty. When I was a kid, I would get lost in them and would scrap up my skin. I still got a few scars, actually. Faded, but there, amongst the freckles.

"Why are you looking at the forest like its better than me? Got a tree fetish?" I was joking, but Jean didn't laugh. He was staring harder and had an unreadable expression. I couldn't tell if it was anger, sadness, or regret. I reached down to hold his hand and he twitched back to reality, looking me with owl eyes.

"Jean, hey, what's wrong..?" I touched his cheek and stroked it with my thumb to soothe him, like I knew it did. He leaned into the touch.

"The forest looks familiar.. I mean, I've been noticing it all night, but there's this eerie feeling about your friends. I don't know what's up. I don't. I don't fucking know," he breathed in hard to quiet the cries growing in his throat and I pulled him closer against my wide chest, "I don't fucking know, Marco, but I feel sick around them, like that something had happened to them and you and fucking shit, Marco, fuck, why do I get so damn weird? What the fuck is with me?! This isn't fair. I just wanted to be friends with him. Why am I fucking weird, Marco? Why do I think they're dead?"

"Jean.." I was whispering, careful of my tone, and he stared off at those trees with water pooling in his eyes. His gorgeous, warm eyes.

"Maybe I'm just fucking wasted.. That's it, right? I'm just goddamn drunk. Fuck me, Marco, I feel horrible. Like, we're not supposed to be here. You're not supposed to be working at a zoo, but..fuck. Burned? I don't know. I don't know, I don't know. Help me."

I coaxed him into sitting and he clung to me like a sloth, refusing to let go or move, just staring at the green towers in front of us. The tears began to fall, wetting my shoulder, and I sighed.

"I don't know what you're feeling, Jean, but you're not weird. It's okay. It's okay, Jean; I love you. I won't try to say that this is totally normal because it isn't, but that doesn't mean it isn't okay. Maybe you're just tired? Everyone else doesn't seem to notice what you do.. I don't." My hands rubbed his back and he squeezed his eyes shut until his body began to shake from the cries leaving him.

"I'm so sorry, Marco. I'm so fucking sorry."

I wasn't sure which Marco he was talking to.

* * *

 

We woke up on Connie's porch the next morning, clinging to each other with aching hangovers, and were forced to be apart of Connie's Clean Up Crew if we wanted aspirin and food. Smart, but cruel. Sasha, Reiner, Eren, and Ymir were the others ones stuck on the crew, too. The food we got after a good two hours of cleaning was delicious Mexican that Sasha happily got.

Jean was still shaky from last night, although I don't know if he remembers the conversation. He didn't talk about it again. I wasn't going to press.

I love him, so I'm not going to make him remember the pain he felt last night.

I threw away armfuls of empty cans.


	8. Ice Coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Advice from a younger sibling drives Marco to visit Jean's manor of a home.
> 
> He ends up sharing coffee with his (boy)friend's mom, instead.

A few days have passed since Connie's party, and Jean only texted me a handful of times. I always have my phone on me, checking regularly (read as: every few minutes) to see if he tried to contact me, but I'm always faced with the home screen of him and I and the time. I keep having a sinking feeling in my stomach, like there's an empty hole where my guts should've been.

Whenever he had managed to send me a text, it was a short one, almost perfectly typed, unlike his usual quick words and snide remarks.

This was what fret felt like, right?

An empty numbness, making my entire body feel cold and reptile-like.

I don't know if Jean is okay. I don't know if he'll be okay. I just don't know. He's avoiding me; he's avoiding everyone. After what he told me, drunk and out of his mind, I think I would avoid us too.

But that doesn't calm down the disgusting ache in my body and the feeling of a pressure crushing my shoulders, because he doesn't deserve this, he didn't do anything wrong to be that lost.

I wondered about how long he's have had to put up with this torment, about how long he's hidden it from everyone around him.

It _sucked_.

I went on to spend my Jean-free time at work and at the family bakery, snuggling little animals and asking them about what I should do, and pounding my fists into dough balls, getting rid of the worry in my bones with each precise hit.

They made the best treats, I learned.

By day six, I've had just about enough. I woke up, stared at my freckled reflection in the mirror, and decided that it was time to stop letting Jean wallow in whatever hell he was in. I was going to make him talk, no matter what.

And that is just what I did.

It began with a single phone call and the gut wrenching feeling I dealt with when the droning beeps on the other line ended made me feel like I was drowning.

I didn't give up, though.

I started the texting next: a shit ton. Still nothing. I was getting desperate and even afraid, wondering if he was robbed of his phone or if he was attacked on the streets.

"Please, Jean.." I mumbled as I called his Skype, waiting and waiting and earning no answer. I leaned back against the headboard of my bed, sighing. I shut my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to conjure up my next battle plan.

It was getting to be too much.

"..Marco?" A soft voice spoke outside my door and I instantly knew who was outside: Lukas.

Cringing, I scrambled off my bed and dusted off the front of my night shirt, which clung to the stench of _not showering_.

"Hey," I said, opening my bedroom door and leaning out the frame. Lukas stared up at me, an unusual frown on his face, and I gulped. "What's up?"

"Marco, can I come in?" He asked, though it came out more like a demand. Whilst stepping aside, I nodded, and he strode into my room like it was his own. I ponderously staggered to my bed, sitting down at the edge and eyeing my younger sibling.

A light silence fell over us for a few moments after that.

"You look like shit." He stated, breaking the calm, and I laughed. Shrugging, I grinned up at the standing male.

"I do? Designer shit or just shit?"

Lukas pushed my side and sat down next to me. When he did, his smile fell and his brows furrowed instead. He reminded of Jean like that, looking stubborn and..worried.

I had worried him.

Great.

"Lately, Marco, you've been distant. And on your phone a lot." Lukas' eyes met mine and I felt lucky to have him as a sibling, despite how better he was than me at everything.

Swallowing my pride, I answered his prayers.

"It's..Jean. We haven't talked in a while and he's been weird and I miss and I'm worried and--"

"Visit him."

I felt my blood run cold then.

"What?" My voice was small.

"Visit him, Marco. He's a Kirschtein, we all know where his house is. Go to it and visit him." Lukas' tone was stronger than earlier.

I didn't need him to tell me twice.

I left just an hour later, showered and ready to see the best damn house in the entire town minus probably the mayor's, because Jean's family is..known. And expensive. Rich, I mean. They live in kinda a manor, much more fancier than my tiny home, so I tried to dress nicer.

I really hoped my work khakis and this dark grey polo were good enough.

It was a short drive and on the way, I contemplated letting Jean know I was about to show up at his house. But, I realized, that telling him would let him prep to fake for me. I couldn't let that happen.

It was to be a surprise, instead.

Either he'll love me for this or hate me.

I can't tell which, yet.

"Oh, shit.." I breathed in the fresher air as I pulled into Jean's huge driveway, staring at the gorgeous structure before me; Jean's home looked nicer than the White House. It was something out of a movie, or Beverly Hills, with a sculptured fountain and pillars on the front porch. Their collection of expensive cars were parked on the side of the huge driveway, with 6 of them, including the car Jean normally drove: the pink Bugatti.

That meant he was here.

Forcing my fear down and under six feet of dirt, I crawled out my dirty truck and lifted my chin up high. Striding up to his glass door was probably the worst, because it was more expensive than anything my family has ever owned, and it was just their front door. That's saying something.

Curling my fingers into a fist, I rapped my knuckles against the smooth door pane and waited patiently for any proof of life within. A couple seconds passed and I nervously twitched.

I was about to knock again when the door swung open and I was met with tawny eyes and a red beanie.

"Marco," he said, wide eyed and stepping back. "Why are you here?"

Trailing my gaze along his frame, which was clad in mere night attire; pajama pants hanging off his jutting hip bones and a shirt riddled with splotches of stains I couldn't name.

I felt like I could breathe again, slightly.

"I was..wondering if you were okay. You haven't, I mean we haven't, spoken in a long time."

"Sweetheart.." Jean's voice was hushed, forced into a mere whisper, and he flinched when a shrill whine came from deep within the mansion. I wanted to ask about it, but Jean was already pouring out the house to avoid the noise.

His hands found my shoulders and he squeezed me hard enough to leave bruise prints of the tips. I didn't move away.

"What's wrong?" Keep your voice soft, Marco.

"Mom's home and Dad might come by--it isn't safe for you here." Jean spoke fast, shaking and twitching and looking around for anyone hiding. I frowned.

"Why is that bad?"

"They don't..they'll ruin you."

Before I can say anything, the owner of the squeaky voice neared the door, calling out for Jean.

"Honestly," whined the makeup caked woman as she opened the glass to find her son and I, "You couldn't even--"

In the middle of nagging about Jean's lack of hygienics, she saw me. Her eyes widened with what I could only describe as "hunger" and she sopped up my appearance.

"Who's this, Jean?" She asked, leaning towards him. I could smell the terror that wafted off him.

I could tell what he wanted to say.

"M-My..friend, mom." The woman, Jean's mom, clapped her hands and turned on the heels of her, well, heels, and placed her hands on my face. She commented on my looks, but I was too far gone in my thoughts.

I'm his _friend_.

(Boy)friend.

Then it hit me: they wouldn't accept.

I have to play the 'no homo' role, don't I? To ensure my love's safety, I decided to go along with the game of 'your son isn't a giant piece of gay art'.

"Nice to meet you, Mrs. Kirschtein! Jean is a close friend of mine. I'm Marco Bodt." Speaking as she eyed me like a meal was rough, but capable of doing. Jean just stood behind her short frame, mouthing that he was sorry and that he loved me. I understood. I knew.

"Bodt? That sounds familiar. You must come in!" Mrs. Kirschtein pushed Jean to the side and grabbed my wrist with her cold digits, trying to yank me into her mansion of a home, and I tumbled past the threshold like a rag doll.

Jean looked desperate and shaky as his mother dismissed him to shower up, leaving it to be just her and I in the decorated living room.

"Do you want any coffee?" She asked as I gingerly sat down on the white couch, treating it like it was made out of break away martial.

"U-Uh, yes please." I answered, earning a toothy smile from Mrs. Kirschtein, and she hurried off to get the coffee for me.

Sitting in Jean's living room wasn't how I was expecting to spend my day, but then again, what did I think would happen? I kicked myself in my head for listening to Lukas. Even he can have bad ideas.

Hearing the clanking of heels against (real) hardwood flooring, I straightened my spine and flickered my gaze up to see the newly bleached blonde hair and the rosy cheeks of Jean's mom, whom was clutching two painted mugs of probably the best coffee I'll ever have. She came before me, smiling like a snake, and held out the drink by the fragile handle.

"Thanks," I said as I took it into my palms, hyperaware of the fact that the mug probably costed more than my entire outfit. She hummed, taking a sip of her own, and I followed suit. I tasted slightly sweet, but still owned that deliciously bitter undertone that coffee held. There was tiny hints of freshness that I wasn't used to and I savored it on my taste buds.

"I don't know how you like yours, so I did it like mine." Mrs. Kirschtein said, looking at me as she sipped at hers.

"It's great!" I replied, probably too enthusiastically, and slumped back in embarrassment. She just smirked, like Jean, and took another gulp of the warming liquids.

It grew quiet in the mansion and all I could hear was the quiet hum of a shower running somewhere in the building.

"So, Marco. You're Jean's friend, yeah? He hasn't mentioned any in a while." I tried not to let the way she sounded suspecting get in my way. I wanted to be on her good side, so if Jean were to ever come out, they already liked me.

They.

I wondered where his father was.

"Mhm," I finally said, returning my thoughts to the topic on hand, "He's a great friend."

"That's great.." Mrs. Kirschtein sighed, smiling contently over the lid of her mug.

"I understand that Jean probably hasn't mentioned me before, or his father. He's a busy man, you know. Constantly at work. Jean doesn't take it well, most of the time.. Since he was younger, he'd get snappy with us, yelling about how none of it was fair." She brushed a strand of her stark blonde hair behind her ear and I nodded.

"He's said a few things about you, but none far too negative. Jean loves you, even if he doesn't say it." I knew I was treading on personal territory there, but I know this for sure; Jean loves his parents, even if he likes to act like he doesn't give two flying craps about them.

Mrs. Kirschtein's eyes pooled with tears and she rubbed her nose with the sleeve of some $100 sweater. My chest warmed, ached even, because she looked like she's been waiting to hear that.

"..Thank you, Marco. Thank you for caring for our son."

We drank our cold coffee for the rest of the time we waited for Jean.

And someone else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been nearly a month. I'm sorry.  
> My life is a mess lately and the want to write is dull. I'm just under a lot of pressure, you know?  
> Kinda lame.
> 
> But I'm going to try to update more!  
> I'm sorry for the dry chapter, things pick up one.  
> Also, don't forget about Jean's POV!  
> I Got "Lost" in the Zoo, part two of Scheduled Visits and Volunteer Shifts.


End file.
